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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 31
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 31 |
My husband had an affair 3 years ago. He blamed it on porn. He had a secret hiding spot build in our house to keep his collection! Sad. I had no clue, until the affair. 3 months ago he finally threw the whole collection away in front of me, but refussed to talk about it. Now three months later, I find out he has been on the internet looking at porn. Even one site, nude personal ads.
I honestly think that porn causes so much harm in our society. It is the reason pedophiles abuse children, why women are raped and why some people kill. I think it breeds the sickness and now I know it ruins marriages.
Yes (15%, 2 Votes)
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No (85%, 11 Votes)
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Maybe (0%, 0 Votes)
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m - 15yrs
d-day - 3yrs
recovery - 2yrs
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936 |
you have a survey, that is way less than the situation you describe. that aint fair :-)
if you are interested in people answering your survey as written, you should edit the text to just match the wording of the survey.
What your husband is doing, isnt "using porn', if he's starting looking at personal ads seriously.
on the flip side, I dont think "porn causes women to be raped or people to be killed'.
There may be some specific types, that encourage that sort of mindset. but saying generically, "porn causes women to be raped' is just way, way over the top.
yes, there are lots of potentially harmful things about pornography. but, to take the trivial example of porn; "looking at playboy magazine' is not going to cause anyone to go around raping women.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 31
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 31 |
Not sure I understand your first sentence....
As for "using porn" versus looking for a date, I do clearly see the difference, and that is the answer I still need him to give me. Not sure it even matters at this point.
"I honestly think that porn causes so much harm in our society. It is the reason pedophiles abuse children, why women are raped and why some people kill. I think it breeds the sickness and now I know it ruins marriages."
Perhaps my wording was harsh, but I do believe that it contributes to those things.
m - 15yrs
d-day - 3yrs
recovery - 2yrs
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
I would be very upset if he had an affair, using porn viewing as an excuse, and now is viewing it again. How long did he go without porn?
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
loveagain - don't be intimidated - your first post makes perfect sense
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 94
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 94 |
I had heard from a social worker friend that all serial killers had been involved in pornography (amongst other things of course) but they all looked at pornography regularly. So, I don't think porn causes people to get raped, but it may cause them to devalue people as personable human beings. I don't think it is not a cause so much as a symptom of a person not willing to deal or relate to others.
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