We may be divorcing. What would be the first steps? I'd like to keep it civil and I think we would be able to work together on division of property and custody...what do I do?

I would start by sitting down with your husband, and saying enough is enough, let's work out the split on paper. See if you can agree on custody, division of property, and finances.

This makes it much cheaper and less stressful.

TALK TO A LAWYER FIRST!!!

I say that because I am going through a do it yourself divorce. We divided up everything, but I consulted with a lawyer first so that I could be pointed in a direction, and know what my legal options were. The lawyer directed me to the web site for my judicial district, had instructions on what to do, what forms to download and print, fill out, where to go to file... She told me what legal protections I would have, what I could and couldn't do after I filed... and let me tell you, that kind of advice is very valuable.

Most consultations are free, and are worth the time you spend talking to them. Nothing wrong with it. So far, I have spent nothing on legal fees and I am almost done.

See a lawyer. ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE KIDS. A good legal opinion never hurts.

Yes, you can get a lot of information just by calling 2 or 3 lawyers and presenting your case. Have key questions on hand and just ask them in casual conversation on the phone.

While X and I "thought" it was going to be an easy and mutually agreed upon process, I decided to be a bit more proactive. This worked best in my sitch.

So, I paid $500 for a service where I was going to be given papers to file myself, and I had the ability to do ONE edit to those papers before filing. I then listened to the advice of counsel and friends, and, mind you, I had several conversations (over several months) with my X so I felt I knew what she wanted. I then presented her with the papers and said, "I think I've captured your concerns here, please review them at your convenience and let me know what you think."

Well, she never really did it that straightforward, but I did get a lot of energy thrown at me over the next two months. I listened to her concerns and converted that energy into a new and final revision that I felt she would agree to and we did end up executing.

It was a painful, sorrowful, hurtful and distasteful process. I would not want to EVER do that again. And, even in my case, it was probably not the right thing to do -- but sometimes - it's the only thing you feel you can to regain your power of Self.

God be with you.

Can you give us more details, are there kids why are you wanting to divorce?