seriously i cannot stop hurting and i want to so bad. i don't know how to get over it because i cannot forget. please i am having a very emotional time at this present moment. some days are fine others are terrible. i can't stop thinking about him sleeping with her, i am so so hurt. i have never ever felt so terrible in my entire life and i don't know what to do. i cant stop crying

(((((((((Alicia)))))))))

I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain...

Have you been to your Dr. to see about AD's?

Sweetie, it does get better <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> One day a t a time...focus on the present...you are the only one who can decide to focus on the positive or concentrate on the negative...

It's easier said than done...if you have to take it one minute at a time...then, one hour at a time...

Soon enough you will be aweing yourself at how fast you bounce back...

What are you doing for yourself...your self-care? Find something to help you recenter...

YOU can do this...YOU are! Thank you for sharing...it's the trials and tributions that makes us strong human being! I have faith that you will be okay...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alicia... one thing you need to know is you will NEVER forget what he did. That just can't happen.... but time will give you distance and perspective.
Before you start taking an AD... pleasae make sure that you are doing everything in your power to help yourself prior to that. Exercise....talking with friends... etc. AD's are suggested around here pretty frequently... Dr. H suggests them too. I sold Zoloft... which is in a class called SSRI's as are most. I would suggest that if you are having suicidal thoughts to NOT start an SSRI without talking to a PSYCHIATRIST. I can tell you from first hand experience having dealt with GP's for years... they are a dedicated and well informed group... but many do not know enough about AD's to prescribe them safely. The warnings for suicide have now been extended to 24 year olds. It stops there only because that is what the studies have shown to date. Eventually this will include all adults.
The things you can do on your own can be equal to or better than the impact of an SSRI. Exercise... in a group... like an aerobics class... is key. The other thing is adjusting your expectations. I don't know when your D-Day was... but expect that you will feel sad and have this "movie" running through your head for a while. There is really no way around it. Lean on others and become stronger in yourself.
You will get through this. You M can survive. It will have some scars...but it can survive. One other thing I can offer is to NOT spend too much time reading here everyday. Use this site for support and information... but don't get sucked in to dealing with infidelity 24/7. Find an outlet for your feelings other than your keyboard.
Good luck and hang in there.

alicia,
it hurts very bad, allow yourself the hurt, how is your support system? you need your friends and family now
when I am feeling low, exercise is the best medicine, even if you cannot go to a gym or have any equipment at home, take a brisk walk outside. the endorphins will help you feel better. the treadmill was the only thing that made me feel beter for the 1st month/ I lost 15lbs. nice side effect too,

I tried to give myself a time limit on the crying. "OK, only 15minutes then 'take a shower' 'wash the floor' give yourself permission to be upset and then get back to life.

it will get better. you CAN survive this

From those of us who have been where you are, it will get better. Your life will not be like this forever. You will have happieness agian.

I promise you this Alicia.

((((((Alicia))))))

Alicia,

I feel your pain so much. I am in exactly the same situation except my H had an EA. I am also here looking for answers.

The best thing that has helped me so far is to do things with my H. We try to plan something to do every weekend, because if you're like me, every day has 48 hours of pain in it. Our events aren't big but they've helped if even for the moment - a needed break to regroup. We've gone on a short hike, gone to dinner alone, ran errands together and are planning a weekend getaway for hopefully next weekend. I would recommend coming up with better ideas that are fun (rather than errands) if you can. I think creating new memories with your H is the key, although I admit I haven't mastered it yet. Still working on it.

I've been at this since Nov. 15. How about you?

If I ever come up with a better solution, I'll share it with you ASAP. Until then, know that I am on this journey with you and I'm thinking about you.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!!

He moved out November 8 and returned december 3 2006. But for the first week he was back he treated me like absolute crap-told me he didn't love me or have feelings for me we had sex one time and he couldn't look at me, refused to kiss me, it hurt sooooo bad, i know i shouldn't have done it so soon, but i just wanted some affection and i certainly did not get it. but for some reason he wouldn't go back to her even though he said he didn't love me - now he says it was all a big mistake and loves me with all his heart, and i know for sure he is not conatacting her. but he cant take back what he did and it hurts so bad it is constantly on my mind. i know the other person wants him back but i am not worried about that. Also what do all these different abbreviations stand for? I have figured out a few, but not many.
I see PA, EA, and so on, is there already a place to see what all these mean?

Hey Alicia..here are some of the abbreviations that may help you...
PA-physical affair
EA-emotional affair
OP-other person
OW-other woman
OM-other man
BS-betrayed spouse
BW-betrayed wife
BH-betrayed husband
WS-wayward spouse
WH-wayward husband
WW-wayward wife
M-marriage
MC-marriage counseling
IC-individual counseling
NC-no contact
HN/HN-his needs/her needs
SAA-Surviving An Affair (the book)
AD-anti depressants
Dday-discovery day
F-former

I think that is all of them....

Alicia:

I know where you are...I am fine one day and the next I am a wreck. I have been told this is perfectly normal..it sure feels awful though. We have to believe though that things are going to get better..we have to be strong..or as strong as we can. I will pray for you!