as of late, I have been telling people about the separation between WS and I. and very freq. I get asked "why are you still wearing your rings??" I removed them once for 24hours 2 mos after D-day when I could not take anymore fogalk. and then I put them back on because the absence was a trigger for me and was very painful.

Now, I just feel like I am not ready to remove them because I am not ready to move on. btw WS has not worn rings for 6 mos and prior to that only sporadicly for another 6 mos.

I was just wondering what people had experienced both with WS and BS

My H and I have been separated for 6 weeks and he took his ring off immediately after moving out. I too thought I wouldnt wear mine anymore but after just a few minuted put it back on-I want my marriage to work out and I feel like me keeping my ring on is a sign to my H of that.

I wore mine for 3 and a half years, until the divorce was final. Everyone wondered why, but I'm happy I did.

You take them off when you take them off...

Sounds funny, I know, but there are no rules; ignore outside influence about these things, go with what you believe.

I took my rings off in July, when my WH told me that he couldn't love me, couldn't like me, didn't want this (M) anymore...I had already been through so much, I couldn't bare to feel that ring on my finger anymore. To me, it just reminded me of a lie told to me once, about love and commitment. I still am not convinced that my WH's actions show a man who loved me once. I'm still unsure abou that one. I'm not hurting nearly as much though. You may want to atleast wait until you have a clear mind and heart. That's just my opinion.

My WH took his off way before I dicovered the A. Like a year or so before. He said it gave him a "rash". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Like a fool I believed him, although he did show me, and there was like a chapped look to the area. Kind of like when water gets under your rings and you don't dry the skin off.

I took mine off pretty much when I discovered the A and he was living with her. I couldn't make myself wear something that was given to me in front of God, during our vows, and know that he was obviously not honoring those vows.

It's ashame, because I absolutely LOVE my engagement ring. The diamond is large and the setting is beautiful. People used to comment all the time what a pretty ring it was.

I just tried them on the other day. I have mine and his still. Just did it I guess to think about what could have been...

My first instinct was to say - when you are no longer married.

I am not familiar with your story, but if you are trying to win back your marriage, I believe wearing your wedding ring gives your WH the right signal. Whether he wears his or not is really not the issue here, since most WH remove their's.

Sending hugs

Carnation

Oh, carnation, I agree...

I did not take my rings off until it was PAINFULLY obvious that WH had no intention of honoring his vows....It felt like a weight. I used to love to twirl them around my finger, it was just a reminder of pain, so I took them off, but that is just me. It's all subjective...

Steve H. told me that his view is that you should keep them on while you are married, as a sign that you support your marriage.

I'm still wearing mine. I took them off once for a couple of hours and it just didn't feel right so I put them back. To me, they are not just a symbol of his vows to me, they are my vows to him that I will continue to honor until I am divorced. It was a promise I made, too. I keep my promises.

Although lately, I've started to wonder if it really matters. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Also, it is a little bit of protection for me. It stops men from approaching me and my having to explain the whole situation. I am married right now and unavailable. The rings show that.

It really depends on the significance they bear for you...I haven't worn a ring for almost the entire length of my marriage and I have always considered myself completely married.

You take your ring off when you aren't married anymore. Anything short of that is and admission that you are giving up and/or moving on.

noodle, I am curious, why have you not worn a ring??

Have to add my vote for keeping them on as long as you are still married. I still wear mine as a sign that I have not given up (and echo what fnh1 said above), but my WW took hers off back in October.

Saw tonight she is wearing a mood ring now.

You'll laugh...

It fell off my finger at a traffic intersection [I think] I was twirling my ring on my finger with my hand hanging out the window and when I got home...no ring.

Uninsured of course because I was young and stupid.

I have considered replacing it but honestly...I am just never impressed ENOUGH with any of them that I have seen to say "yeah...that's worth dropping a few grand".

Exchange of Vows
I, N., take you, N. to be my wife. I promise to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you, in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, to be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.

Exchange of Rings
N., take this ring as a sign of my love and devotion; and wear it as a symbol of our commitment to each other, so that the world will know that we are one.


I think that sums it up. After "I no longer shall live" she can take it to a pawn shop.

Good thing we didn't have that bit in our vows...lol

Dead noodle walking.

Heck we are both dead..his slid off in a rainstorm football game about two weeks after our wedding...I'll never ever admit it to him but he spent HOURS looking [in the rain] and I took a brief glance around the heavily trafficked four way and conceded defeat.

I took mine off right after we seperated when I saw he had removed his. He ever removed his and it hurt so i put them in my pocket. But after reading this thread I put them back on... even thou we are seperated and divorcing I am still married to him. And I agree with another poster that said it reflects the vows I took.
I think my STBXWH noticed this morning at my sons hockey game. Plus I'm having second thoughts about everything now because every once in a whiile I see my H.
SH01

This is part of why I DID take mine off, I don't see any real commitment from him, and as they are a sign of HIS commitment, well there is none really...It was unbearable to be reminded of that as I would unconsciously begin to spin the ring around my finger, then become aware and have anxiety...I'm still committed to him as I said in my vows, but he took his ring off long ago...

SL
I still have mixed feelings about putting them back on. I know my friends are going to tell me I'm just going backwards. I may remove them again.. I don't know. It's just one of those days.
I love to see him and hate to see him because it just brings on all the emotions.

SH01