She is at a crossroads after exposure. Should she continue exposing, and have WH lost job?

I just don't know. It is easy to say "Expose!!!!", but if he loses his job because of affair with a student, will he be able to get another one? If not, how does that help his family?

Believer...if he has chosen to havve an affair with a student...should he be in that job...or any like it?

Acting in truth, owning our stuff, aids our families...because the example of honesty will shine for a life time...and God can get to you when you aren't set in your own way...

He can work as anything else...so can she...they can make their way through ownership...only way he can get to redemption. She can't make him...exposure is telling the truth...sharing it. She's not making him lose his job...he is...

LA

believer, it won't matter if he has a job if she gets divorced because she was protecting his secret. Further, the affairees are not worried about it, so why should she? If he gets fired it is because of his choice to break the rules. And his employer has every right to to fire him for that.

If he loses his job because of his affair, that was a risk he was more than willing to take.

Also, according to her posts in another thread, the OW's sister already filed a harrassment complaint with the university. They already know. What further harm can be incurred if she puts in her own exposure (complaint) with the university officials? It might ensure it isn't swept under the rug, and that would be a good thing, wouldn't it?

Alright, the truth has come out...He has just told me that he lied about...well, pretty much everything. Although he doesn't see it as lying...

The cell phone director did not call him yesterday. She called him last week saying he was over in minutes usage. The assistant to his boss told him that there was a meeting regarding his cell phone next Friday. He says his boss told him there was a meeting...I don't know if that's true or not--he could just be saying that because he checked his boss' email or the assistant told him.

The meeting did not specifically say anything about the suit, simply it was about WH's cell phone usage. WH assumed it had to do with my email. The only reason he knew about the email was because of the stolen passwords that he used to access my email (i hadn't deleted them out of my sent box) Granted I did send it, I know for a fact that his boss, who I cc'd did not receive his copy--it went into his junk folder--I knew how to check his email as well because WH has told me he had access--I checked and actually deleted from his junk mail folder myself when I started to feel guilty he was going to receive it) The way my yahoo account sends it messages; it looks like junk mail. There is only speculation whether or not she actually read it.

He was such a jerk yesterday making me feel bad about sending the email and possibly getting him fired; and then I guess he started to feel guilty and told me the truth...I'm assuming only half-truths.

I'm pretty sure he knows about these boards, but i'm not sure 'cause he hasn't brought it up. maybe he didn't know what is was logging in to...

I changed all my email passwords from another computer and now he's asking for all my passwords saying I should be honest with him if I want him to be honest with me. Should I give them up?

Here's what makes me the most upset. We were talking and during the middle of our conversation our son came and joined us. He continued the conversation and we kinda started talking in code, while our DS was kinda doing his own thing. Then it started getting heated so I told DS to go upstairs, but our conversation continues. In hindsight I should have stopped talking completely and not responded, but I didn't. WH then said that he was leaving, emphasizing that he had already said he was and he was going to. DS asked, "Are you really leaving, Daddy?" He said YES! DS started to cry, I gave him a hug and said Daddy's just upset, go upstairs. We continued the conversation, but now I feel guilty for not having stopped the conversation immediately when DS came down and heard WH say he was leaving.

Yeah, we're still going to the retreat, but I'm not quite sure what I want. Dr. Harley will need to work a miracle. I guess I figure even if we don't stay togther, I can say I gave it a try....and in the very least, have learned something that I can use in a future relationship.

did he say why he wants your passwords ... other than to show you who'se boss?

Pep

For what reason would he want your passwords? And you are going to expose BEFORE the "retreat," right?

let's examine this a little



you make a judgement of your own behavior
judging it was an error
you have a feeling about your error (guilt is a feeling)
then you make sure you take corrective actions in the future
do not repeat the same error
the guilty feeling can then be replaced by a different feeling

may I suggest, that for these minor parental infractions made while your WH is driving you nutz ... you replace "guilt" with "regret" as soon as possible

it ain't that bad, ya know

in general, your son needs to know that what is making his parents act so strangely... is NOT him

you take on guilt too fast when it is your WH who owns the majority of it

my opinion ... worth the paper it is printed on

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />