Good day to all,
I have been seeing Gfriend 4 months. I just came back from China after a 1 month holiday. We called every day when I was on holiday. Gfriend was so happy to see me. We have been seeing every day since the 16th (I came back on the 16th). Gfriend spend 2 nights ago at my place for the first time. I saw her yesterday and on the end of the night she text me the following after I asked her why is she so cold towards me.

I’m sorry to tell u, but I think I need some time for myself. Sort out what is going on in my mind. Everything is messed up in my head before you came back. And after last night I’m too confused to be with anybody….I am sorry.

I asked is there anybody else and should I wait for her? She answered no one else I believe her. She said it is over at the moment…..

Her back ground…..she was using drugs but has been off for 3 years. Her best friend and work mate left few months ago to work in another country and this has been too much for her to be with out this friend.
Her social worker\friend said that she thinks that this girlfriend might be using drugs again.

What should I do, leave her on her own or try to be there for her. I would like to be there for her because I love her. How can I be there…..text and try to phone…..as for a Plan A?

Van

Well, it sounds that while you were away on the holiday, she found someone else.

I would never Plan A someone who was not my spouse, never mind someone whom I have known for only 4 months. If you have to Plan A someone during dating, you should not be dating them, IMO. That is why we date, to find out if we want a relationship - not to try to "save" a relationship.

Time to move on, bud.

AGG

AGG thanks for the wake up call,
True time to move on....Yeah I was lost there thinking that I should try to help her, if it is drugs she is using or what ever her reason is. Her friends wants me to stand by her....but it is her decision if she wants me in her life or not and she does not want me so yeah then that is it time to go...I know I did all I could and do I really want to get involve in this kind of life?

Anytime <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.


Well, that is the big difference between dating and marriage - in marriage, the 'ole "for better or for worse" kicks in; but don't let anyone manipulate you into "standing by" someone whom you are simply dating and who is making awful choices for herself.

AGG

Good day to all, ( I share this because I am looking for an excuse not to work on my thesis)

Well I did not call the exgf and I took a brake and went away for a week to work on me and to get in the moving on stage as suggested.
So exgf send me a text….when are we going for snowboarding. (them laughing and me falling because I have never been snowboarding). So I did not answer the text….I don’t like ignoring people. Then 2 days later I got this text:
My feelings are not gone for you. But if you can’t be just friends with me….s**t happens. As I said enjoy and be happy the rest of your life! Hoping that you will find someone better than me in your life….Well that should be easy.

My answer: Stop having a low self esteem and I told her then what was great about her and the small things that she does that I can not see that someone ells would be able to do better like spilling beer on or stepping on my shoes.

Then she text me again some time later in the week:
Thanks for saying those nice things. I’m terribly sorry that I have left you. I’m sorry ……

I did not sent her a reply. But got another text again:
I just wanted to be alone……

Then I got another text later in the week:
I am doing well at the moment. I will be assistant manager. Still trying to find a flat. How are you?

To this text I did answer: Well I am very happy for you I knew you will do great as you are a great person. Soon you find that soul mate that will sweep you off your feet you will be great. Please take care and have fun.

I got a reply to the above:
Take care and have fun? Okay I got the point. Well take care your self and have fun. (I did not mean it badly when I send it)

I replied with the following:
I don’t know what you want. I am confused. Yes I miss you loads but it is out of my hands.

I am now sure she will not contact me again, so my moving on process can get finalized.

( This attraction thing is funny: There is someone that is interested in me who on paper is excellent….Doing her Phd, olimpic sailor, 1.75 meter tall great cook and can drink 6 tequilas and still stand but then I fell hopelessly in love with exgf that is hmmm some business school, 1.68 meter tall.)

Hmm life…I am an ENFJ 1.83 and past my sell by date.

Van