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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 12
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 12 |
What I mean is what was it that was like the light switch went on for you partner that made the NC seem like the way to go.
Is it something they finally decide that it needs to happen or do you think that you helped it go in that direction by something that you did? Or is there anything that you can do to help it get to that point faster?
Thanks!!!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
CH, there are many ways that nc comes about, but for me, it happened when I kicked my H out of the house. I told him to hit the road in addition to confronting the OW. buh-bye! In fact, she dumped him that day. He has maintained nc for several years now, because he knows better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hope that helps!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 675
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 675 |
For us W finally realized what she was losing and came home and told me. I called him and we broke it off with OM together.
It was over, ended, Kaput!
JKG
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Nice story, JKG! Pepperband's H affair had a similar ending when she made him drive to the OW's house and go in and tell her H right in front of the OW! AFFAIR was over right then! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
My wife told me every time OM contacted her and she told him she was telling me. Guess that killed the fun and he just left her alone.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128 |
I kicked my wife out a few times. She came back and always broke contact. Last time I said I had had enough and I didn't care any more. I thought she was simply pathetic and should be ashamed of herself for stealing money from her children to carry on her affair and told her we were finished. She asked for another chance. I said she had to call OM in my presence and tell him it was over. She could not say "ILY", could not say "I'll miss you" - just plain business - "it's over". AFAIK, she hasn't had contact since. I believe she also knows that she is out of chances. I can divorce her any time with no doubts. She can stay or leave - that is her choice - but she cannot carry on an affair under my roof. That is my choice.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959 |
I heard the OM had a new GF, and offhandedly told my then WW. She didn't believe me so I dialed his phone number, handed her the phone and told her to ask him then. He answered, she asked, he told her the truth (which surprised me somewhat), and that's when she completely fell apart. The fantasy finally went poof. The following day was the first day of recovery.
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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