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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 852
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OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 852 |
Hi- I found out the end of Nov. that my H of 20 yrs was having a second affair with a coworker that has been going on since June. He is 48.They were both laid off around that time when the company they were working for was relocated to another state.When he confessed he did not seem sorry- he said I never forgave him for his first affair 5 yrs ago. ( Partly true though I did try.) I hired an attorney right away and filed for D as I was afraid he might file first and block my ability to use our money to hire my own attorney.( I learned this from when he filed 5 yrs ago and I've been a SAHM.)In the paperwork my atty said H must move out of the marital home so H decided to move right into an apt with married OW two wks before Christmas who is now in the process of divorce also. The thing is he calls me every day to talk about the new small biz he and I bought and were starting about the same time as his affair began.(We purchased a new franchise opportunity and he runs it while I take care of the kids and house.)He comes over about every other day to see the kids( ages 9, 15 and 19) and hang around the house-even plays with our golden retriever. He was over on New Years Eve and Christmas wkend both.I can tell he is unhappy having to live at OW's place but at the same time he claims he still wants a D. Now I am wondering if I rushed into this too soon. My H is a family man at heart yet seems very angry and in a huge mid life crisis. Any advice? When I ask him about our marriage he gets defensive and angry. Yet he seems so unhappy and on Christmas he said he was not sure if he wanted a D or not. Any advice? Should I just wait this out and see how it goes with mediation this wk and the legal process and see if he changes his mind???
me BS-age 44 STBX- age 48
M 20 yrs, 3 kids ages 10, 15, 20
H had intense EA/PA with single coworker
D-day 2-14-01--Separated for 2 mo. H filed for divorce in April 01, then he cancelled it
Second affair another affair with a married coworker- D-day 11-20-06
Filed for divorce right after second d-day
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Well, that was a little quick, but its done now. Personally I think there is nothing like living with the OP to ruin the affair.
Have you done a good Plan A?
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
LIM, I thought you booted him out and filed for D because you were DONE with the marriage? Are you not done with the marriage? Is this a lifestyle you have chosen to adopt, ie: open marriage?
If you aren't done, why don't you go into Plan B?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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