bump

Ken,

Not much of a PBL expert.... I'm shpuld be posting mine soon. Did you check out LilSIS letter at the beginning of her thread?

Also maybe ask Lunamare...she's the one I was told is the PBL expert per se

Also on my thread I'll check the page there is an outline to see if you included everything.

I'll look over your letter again but I'm no expert.

Still

Hey Jim, I am no PBL expert or any other kind of expert, just wanted to pipe up that I think you are doing what is necessary and we have your back. Reading some of the other stories here it seems like Plan B is tough at first as you go through withdrawal but then the peace of not having to plan A and get [email]cr@pped[/email] on while you do it helps maintain your sanity. I think you have grown enough as a man that this will be good for you. I have kept up on your story and while I am not an expert, I think that your WW has been eating up all the EN meeting you have been doing. She will really miss it when you go dark.

Hey Ken,
Shoot me an email.

I have to say... that if you need to mention an internet game in a plan B letter... your wife has some serious issues and is terribly immature. I'm sorry you are dealing with this stuff.

I am sorry too... she is 45 trying to be 25...

jim

check you inbox

dog check your mailbox

Plan B, it's a letter letting her know your M is important to you but you can't be 4ever hers because now she is a Ws.

Let her know you love your W but NOT the WS. Read your letter again and see if you can remove some of the confusion. Remember it will be read via the eyes of a WS.

Don't make plans or commit to a WS, just your real W.

L.

I know make every day... I know..

It is now what 6 weeks she has been gone and no indication, not a hint that she is comming back, she hasn't tried to make contact, nothing maybe there was someone in the wings undetected... Oh well I honestly think the marrage is toast... she is gone for good...

Jim

That is a good Plan B letter. It is still much too early to know if she will come back, though.

How are you holding up? Hope you are not going crazy.

Most days pretty well, Occasionally when i stop and think about what was I miss her a lot, so i try to keep from stoping and dwelling on it...

I do wish I had your confidance... Maybe becasue I only see the negitive actions...

I am just going day by day moving forward as best I can... Ill cross the "she returns" bridge if I get to it.

Until then I am living under the assumption she isn't coming back. I think it is emotionally safer for me that way and it doesn't leave me open for further rejection, hurt... I have had enough of that for a long time to come...



Jim

just checking in,,, not a bad week will need a New IC she is resigning UGGGH I really liked her,,, otherwise doing ok...

Somedays Good samedays not as good but IC saus I am making great strides... agrees WW mayne having an undetected says not many things execpt abuse (not may case) cause someone to switch like WW did... oh well

Have court date now Jul 9th it is over if WW dosnt get it togeather...

More later

Jim

Well I sent the plan b letter Via email, I will probably mail a copy as well.

I do think it is probable she has had is having a PA with whom I can't say...

I am still hurting from all the D triggers this week (letters paperwork for the attorney) It has been hard... Will the plan B letter/ plan B itself work, I don't have much faith or hope it will. But I can now look myself in the mirrow and say I have done everything I could have done...

It is funny I don't miss the bad times we had at all, I do look back and miss the good times however greatly...


WHat happens now I guess is in her and gods hands...

Jim

((Ken))

I'll soon be giving my letter also. Not sure if it's really a plan B letter. Thinking more of it's letting you go letter. Sort of like what's recommended in Love Must be Tough.

I don't have much hope that my M will recover. At this point I don't want the man he is anyway. The only way I recognise him is the way he looks and his voice. But otherwise inside he's not who I fell in love with. His eyes are so empty. For someone that wanted this D and already in another relationship, he doesn't look very happy.

In time I think we all will heal.

Still

well i hope it would hurry damn up, i am tired of hurting inside...

oh is email ok or do In need to do hard copy too?
Jim

Ken,

I would also give a hard copy, also make a copy for yourself in case you need to send it again if she tries to break Plan B. I have photcopies that I'm holding onto... just in case he uses it to try to make it look like I'm keeping our kids from him. So the whole letter can be read in context.

I know I wish time would hurry up. It's very tiring going through this. My emotions are all over the place. I mean he's been gone for 6 months now. I've known something was wrong for over a year. I frequently ask myself when am I going to feel healed?

Still

Leave it with the e-mail. Don't send the hard copy. Since you already sent it, sit back and wait. It's hard t/d but you can do it. So be patient. Pray for a clear mind and a calm heart. You are going to need all 3.


take care,
L.

I hear you Ken. I am stuck in Limbo Land myself. I am trying to Plan A a woman that no longer lives with me and doesn't have a whole lot to do with me. I don't think I can give Plan A 6 months under these conditions. I may be joining the Plan B crowd shortly myself. Hang Tuff.

Distractions work best for me. I stay as busy as I can and visit with as many people as I can. Lately I crank up the stereo (No country music, It will bring you down, I use hard rock, It garbles the brain) and do everything around the house that I've put off forever. Also, for anxiety I drink 2 beers and smoke a cigar. I do that everytime I get worked up. Keeps me from prescription meds. I fight depression with weight lifting. I'm starting to get cut again and it feels good. It is also a fact that exercise helps with depression. Something to do with chemical releases in the brain.

I also spend to much time on this forum and that helps the time pass.

Later

Flash Flash

It seems there may be an PA with a dude manned Michel. I have a copy of cozy Pic (dog has seen it) I have re-visted phone and text mes logs on cell phone bills and if the phone nuber we suspect belongs to him the volume is extreamly high Trying to confirm. But it is looking ver strong at the moment, there was also rumer of an A in Stevens Point, With him and WW... will dig some more... if i find there is an affair do expose while in plan B?

Jim