More details...

It rumor has it she no longer plans to Move to the area of OM. Indications are she plans to stay in the imeadate area...

Also It sounds like her roommate has a new love and maybe moving to her new girlfriend... If true WW loses roommate.

Conventional wisdom / indications are the A may have ended, just prior to easter, She was depressed, staying in her room... 2 weeks later she advertised on a dating Site etc... Now about 4 weeks have gone by according to my best guess... and she iniates contact and it appears did a reconnaissance mission ...

If true it means Mr 24 and MS 25 maybe moving out of the picture...

And now She needs to drop off a key and asks do you have a roomate yet. uses us and we... Didn't seem in a fog to me seemed like her old self. not an ill word came from her mouth.

This is a change, a small change but a tangable change... This was her first initated contact / first initated meeeting since she walked out. She came to me... oh she did send a happy easter text that I ignored...

I don't know... Ok any more tea leave readers out there...

Jim

Jim - You just have to hang in there and wait. It has only been a short time, although I know it doesn't feel like it.
You are doing well by letting her go. The affair always ends and then she may change back to the woman you love.

She is seeing that you are coping well without her. That always worries them.

anyone have any opinions on what this means... you people have seen more of this then I have... Am i reading to much into it?

Jim

As we have discussed...recon mission and her attempt to to prove she can have contact with you at her will, which gives her control of the situation (ungood).

Also, as discussed, I do believe that her A with the 24 y/o OM is over.
Be patient. Learn yoga, do whatever. This is a waiting game.
As stated previously, I was a very impatient man. I have learned more patience than I ever thought humanly possible.
The positive effect, this has carried over to my day to day life.

Hang in there. We are all pulling for you.

From what I read, all this means is that, that OM is outta the pix but she is still a raging WS.

Steer clear. Dog has some good advice. Learn patience.

Don't be reading tea leaves...... soak 'em for a drink instead.....might be good in antioxidants. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Ok so this wasn't a positive indication... Part of me still holds a flicker of hope... Oh well...

So what am I looking for what would be a positive sign/indication of movment in the right direction.

Dog, as for her thinking she is in control, she would be dreaming... She predicted to her friends and family I would fall apart, breakdown, go off the deep end etc within 30 days... I am growing more confidant everyday. I have learned not only will I survive this ordeal, I will thrive, I don't "need her" anymore to be happy, my own choices will determine that... She is about to crash... I have taken her best shot and I am still standing ...

Orchid, To heck with tea, it is summer and i want margerritaville, and bikinis!!!

Jim

Dog...

At your suggestion I have went darker still... Maybe your right, with her foundation crumbling it is time to really pull the legs out...

My myspace is now private and the pic she can see is of my car <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> no EN being met by FordMoCO

My web site is down saying under Major Revision" No pics no news.

So if she needs a Jim fix she will have to do it from her own pictures of me/us.

The intel she can get is from the the babysitter, who lives down the street, I don't think she will like that... it is I am driving with the top down rocking out, having BBQ's drinking margerritas, having friends over... etc etc etc
basically everything normal and going good.

Jim

If you responded, she is in control.

To better expand on my comment above, I offer the following:

Hope? There is signs of it in what she did. She wanted to make contact, which mesna you are still in her thoughts (for better or for worse).

As to the issue of control and having you in her back pocket, reality is you may not be. But, WS's are living in a fantasy world. They have no game plan. They think they do, but it is all fantasy. This fantasy and reality do not mix. Ever. They act on their emotion, not thoughts.

But, you did respond. And that put her right back on top.

I understand... I get what you mean... If i had control I would ignore or even make her cool her heals until I felt good and ready and got around to it..

One other thing I have noticed... It seems every time after contact I seem to get into this funk for a few days... A tad sad... you know a funk... Is this withdrawl like starting over... Does the WW feel it too after contact with me?

Ok if I have zero contact, won't she just get over me too?

Jim

Hey bro',

WS' have a negative impact. So expect the 'funk'. They are a depressed group so when they interact with the BS, it is just their depression rubbing off on us.

Don't expect a WS t/b happy. Their depressive acts is a sign they are STILL a WS.

Limit contact with the toxic one and when you do, make sure YOU are well insulated. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

She was with OM for a few months, she was with you for, what, seven years? She won't just get over you as long as she doesn't have someone else. If she tries to make contact, resend the plan B letter. She'll get the picture.

TNX JMWC I needed that...

Well I found a cure for the Funk...
Some BBQ, A couple pitchers of Marrgerettas, A smokey Hony Tonk with an Awsome C+W Band playing, multipal shots of Quervo and a good friend to play degisnated Driver!

Funk Gone!


Jim <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I sent this today...

You really looked good the other day, Megan did too. So how do I say this?

The fact is I am do really great until I see you, then I remember what we had and what we lost. I can’t keep re-opening that wound. I can not have further contact with you for the time being. I have asked my friend John to act as an intermediary. John has agreed. If I need to get word to you (like when the car insurance is due) ill pass it to you via John... If you need to contact me do so through John. John’s phone is xxx-xxx-xxxx his email is bal bal @bla.com. You can call, text or email John.

The two exceptions would be a bonified emergency or if you changed your mind and wanted to reconcile our marriage.


Thanks for understanding

another question... if this holds it obivioulsy insolates me and allows me to heal and stay out of the funk...

What is the effect on an WW? is there any?

Jim

You need to be in a very dark Plan B. There is too much contact with her. Let her sink or swim.

Sounds like you are doing well. My phone is still working. I have to stay home from work a day for them to fix it, but am too busy right now.

Yes, there is an effect. But, do not worry about too much.
This is for you to pull out of a stressful situation so you can heal otherwise you will grow to hate your spouse and then have no feelings for them whatsoever.

Believer!!!! Phone has been busy or won't connect for like days!!! Orcid and john been pulling double duy!

Well I have locked down everything, myspace is dark, the web server is down, about the only thing I havn't done is move...

I am as black as I know how to be... Dog is flying High cover and is the go between...

Been doing ok but this weekend was pretty rough however.
Talk to you soon! really missed you!



Jim

P>S> thanks to Everyone especally Beliver, Dog, Orchid... I know I have been leaning pretty heavly on you guys... I can't tell how much your support means to me over here... Gets pretty lonly sometimes...

This super dark plan B stinks... It is giving up like the last thread of hope and control to someone else... Oh well
Dog kick me in the tail when needed!

Jim

WW ex H called Kids report WW has a new "MR wonderful" and he "may be the one" Kids Have met Mr wonderful...

God this strinks hurts etc etc...

Have a call in to my atty. I have decided to let him do whatever he needs to do to protect my intrests if it hurts her so be it.

Jim