after I discovered the affair I took my wife away for a weekend of reconnecting. We had a good dinner and a few tropical drinks. When we made it back to hotel room, she questioned whether we should watch one of those porn movies you can buy in to room. I was shocked, she had always been discusted with porn...so we watched one while engaged...she went crazy...not a bad thing however, she mentioned that a threesome would be interesting, but it would have to be two men and her...this coming out of the mouth of a stero typical sunday school teacher.....what the ****** is happening to her??????????????????????????????????????????

Maybe she wants to have more fun in bed? Did you oblige her? How would you rate your sex life?

I think that porn is very counterproductive and a threesome is absolutely sick and DESTRUCTIVE, but there are other ways you can satisfy her apparent need for some general naughtiness. I hope you didn't call her a slut, or if you did, you did it AFFECTIONATELY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

p.s. you are her HUSBAND, don't you WANT her to be "slutty" with you??

Holy Moly, now I've seen it all............

its a totally different wife in bed now.... makes me worried about her....PORN is dangerous.... so I'm just confused and looking for input from anybody that has experienced something like this....

biwabik, I didn't mean to make light of your situation. I do fully understand that porn is very bad and swinging is just degenerate behavior. She has clearly crossed some lines here and is dabbling in the dark side. This is not uncommon when someone allows themselves to break one boundary, others are not far behind.

You can't, of course, ever participate in the destructive activities she is proposing, but you CAN do other things to liven up SF so she can learn to have some CLEAN fun in your marriage.

Was the OM into swinging? Did she engage in this with him?

no, he was my best friend, no swinging. time was not readily available to them....20 minutes 2-3 times a week......he is a salesman, the greatest liar you ever met....hince he is in sales. he used me to understand my wife more, so he could more easily manipulate her.

ouch, a double betrayal! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I am in no way justifying WW's affair. I am just thinking that she may be going to extremes because your opinions about sex are conservative; so she has become obsessed with inappropriate SF because she feels restricted. I know people who have had threesomes and all of them told me they only tried it because it seemed like fun but the reality did not match their fantasy. I wouldn't agree to watch porn or do the 3some but as long as the SF only involves the 2 of you maybe you should try some new things. Allow her to express her sexuality within the marriage w/o you shaming her. Most women's SF needs are not as strong as most men's but some women's are.

Making her feel bad for wanting it a lot or in a certain way will not change her desires. She will only feel criticized and eventually stop confiding in you and your marriage will be vunerable to an affair agan. The principals of Marriage Builders is that each person in the relationship tries to meet the other person's needs and your wife is givng you a billboard size clue that she wants more variety in the bedroom.

it gets worse, she was a virgin when she met me, which my best friend knew....I worked shift work so he had access to her.....he has tried to contact her indirectly while we were at a mutual friends house...he was hoping I wasn't there....so he is going to be a problem. I informed the MC about it and she is working with the wife so she is not tempted whatsoever to be a strong and not able to be manipulated...with out the two kids at home i would have thrown her out......her mother by the way did almost the exact same thing, only her father threw the wh0re out!!!!