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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 48
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Have received two letters - one just before Christmas
I hope that you are OK. I hope you manage to get a rest over Christmas - I appreciate it must be a difficult time. I will contact you again in the New Year in the hope that we can speak again.
[color:"blue"] [/color] Got this on Saturday.......
I hope you are well. Before Christmas, we spoke on a couple of occasions about meeting up again to discuss next steps. I do appreciate that this is very difficult for you but I wouldlike to meet again. I'll follow this with a 'phone call next week and I hope that we will be able to arrange to meet. In the meantime, I hope that everything is OK with you and the cats (and the house). As always, if there is anything you need from me, please let me know , Yours
Frankly, I had a terrible Christmas - very lonely and I was hermit like. I have been in Plan B for over a year and I am so proud of myself in that I have kept calm and carried on - been away to Dubai and Barbados on my own - got a kitten - do gym every other day and not had one day off sick from work since D Day. I shop and make myself go out and about but.......... every day is like a Groundhog Day - and sometimes it gets me down. I am still losing weight and have gone from an US size 8 - to a size zero!
Oh what to do, what to do?
Me (BS) 46 - moved in December 2004 to be with WH - no real support network to call on
WH 44 - moved to new job in June 2004 - 200 miles from home
OW 43 - Head of HR in same workplace - but met soulmate so it does not matter about work issues
D Day May 2005 - Plan A (with OWH in Plan A too)until December 2005. Plan B - did OK until lapse at end of Oct 2006. WH and I met in 1983, friends until 1989 when started our relationship - moved in together in 1992, and married in 2001.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
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Joined: Jan 2005
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At most, resend your plan B letter. You did spell out precise conditions in which you would accept WH back into your life, right? If so, then there shouldn't be anything more to say, except to remind him that the only time in which you're willing to 'talk' with him are when those conditions are met. PERIOD.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Plan B, no contact with a wayward; I know how difficult it is to do this, especially when they are calling you and asking you to come out of your shell. Owl is right, resend PBL...a wayward does not have your interests in mind...
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
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Joined: Dec 2003
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"I have been in Plan B for over a year"...
Have you set a time limit on how long to remain in Plan B?
BH - me 53, ONS 1979 FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003 Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754 |
What are the plans or next steps he is wanting to discuss, LSA or D perhaps?
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
I would continue in Plan B. I got lots of letters like that from my WH. What he wanted was to figure out how he could get more money. I made the mistake of talking to him. Stay dark, and if you do end up divorcing, do it through an attorney, unless he offers you everything.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 48
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 48 |
I have set myself a two year time limit in Plan B. I imagine that the contact is concerning disposal of the house as he is paying his share plus contributing to a love nest. I am in infrequent contact with OW partner - he sent me a christmas card which indicated that OW still is living there part time - but he anticipated that they would be putting their house on the market in the new year. He did a great Plan A - but never moved on to Plan B - she has it all - two men vying for her - a well paid job in which their affair/she has been protected - even with my good job of exposure. I am out on a limb, no real friends up here, no life really I guess - doing the best I can.
Me (BS) 46 - moved in December 2004 to be with WH - no real support network to call on
WH 44 - moved to new job in June 2004 - 200 miles from home
OW 43 - Head of HR in same workplace - but met soulmate so it does not matter about work issues
D Day May 2005 - Plan A (with OWH in Plan A too)until December 2005. Plan B - did OK until lapse at end of Oct 2006. WH and I met in 1983, friends until 1989 when started our relationship - moved in together in 1992, and married in 2001.
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