my lesbian partner and I own a home equally and are splitting up. I(BS) am living in the home, she(WS) is renting an apartment. she comes and goes from our house as she pleases and I just can't live like this anymore.
do I have ANY rights asking her to leave, like emotional abuse??? or do I have to put up with things this way until I end up buying her out of the property. also can I move her belongings from the house legally ???

we also have 3 children, WS gave birth to #1 and I gavce birth to #2 and 3.
I am arranging guardianship for the 3 children and we will both be equal parents.

thanks for any input you may have <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

You need to see an attorney and find out what the legal options are for you in your state. There are a couple of attorneys who post here, and maybe one will drop in and see your thread. But you need sound professional legal advice.

There may be some who add opinions that give you some direction regarding your situation, but for your own protection and sanity, use a professional for the legal stuff.

Best wishes,
SD

Depends on your state, but if you both are on the deed, I doubt it. Even married folks can't force the other out of the home in most states.

My WH still states "I own half the house" when I tell him to remove his things. The only thing that I can do is appeal to his sense of equality (as his sense of decency no longer exists), and tell him that I would prefer to have my own space that he cannot come and go as he pleases.

The truth is, you should set up some kind of LSA, so that you have some say as to what happens in your place of residence.

In my LSA, it states that my place of residence is not to be impeded upon, and the same with his...

Get thee to a lawyer immediately. It may cost money, but how much do you think peace of mind should cost. Being cheated on is a HUGE violation, then you are repeatedly violated because she owns half the house.

Part of Plan A is setting boundaries AND enforcing them. Also, dealing in honesty and openness. If you feel disprespected, you should state that, in a positive way. NO LB's, no DJ's (like assuming that she realizes about the necklace, which she may well, but she also is VEEERY selfish right now...)

Get those legalities settled, then Plan B (which will keep her from entering the house). You could also have the locks changed and state that you fear for your safety since you are alone now, or something like that.

Can you force the sale of the house?

thanks silent lucidity, I am trying to find a mass/nh lawyer that can handle the SSDP(same sex domestic partner) separation, mass is further advanced in the laws, and a mass/nh border lawyer would be well versed in making an equitable decision happen.

I have finally conceeded in needing a lawyer, before I actually thought we would be able to draw up an agreement and sign it all nice like. but now I realize she is not acting like a reasonable person, I can't even have a norm conversation with her, never mind deal with legalities.

and yes my peace of mind is not only worth it, but now I can't seem to imagine living without it.

noodle, thanks for your interest. I am not really interested in moving, also I know WS does not want to lose equity in this house, so I suppose I could buy her out, might put me into the ground, but it would be worth it for the kids to be grounded, also for me to have some solace.

sl, sooooo sick of the "this is my house too" bit......you know what I say now..... "yes, it is your house, but no longer your home" she didn't like that one.

thanks guys for your support, today was really emotional, I am tired of everything. I just want her to leave me alone at this point. tomorrow I get me a lawyer. wish me luck!!!!!!!!

Have you asked her to sit with you and write up an agreement? I think an attorney is gonna be very expensive.

FB:

this is very good:




Excellent Reverse Babble!

Do you have access to her apartment so that you can come and go there as you please? How would she feel about that?

Just change the locks. It isn't illegal for you to do that, but she can get the police to help her break back in. Don't worry, it rarely comes to that. Then once the locks are changed you don't have to worry about it anymore. If you are in plan B you can just ignore her protests. Who cares what she wants.

thanks for all the support guys!!!!
hmmm...I just spoke with her....lots of fogtalk..."I don't know what is WRONG with you"...hmmm... me????

anyhow, she agreed to meet me on sat. to discuss the arrangements. but she is throwing out angry words like "why don't you just buy me out of the house?" "why don't you just change the locks?" I know this is all anger, she has never expected me to go this far. she wants to hang out on my couch when she is scared. she wont like being ejected from this house.

sdg, thanks...I just said these words to her today, and her response was "I can't believe you haven't already had a key made so you can snoop through my stuff"

Jim, if it were that easy I would... problem is...she has a garage door opener that she wont relinquish...I have asked. she wants herself firmly planted here. sat is my last go at keeping things peaceful, if she can have a reasonable conversation with me, then fine we can go that route.... but mostly when we do this, she just says "fine write up whatever you want and I will sign it" she just wants me to shut up.

It is that easy. Just change the garage door opener frequency. I believe that is something that can be changed. Read up on the manual for your garage door opener or talk to someone at Lowes or Home Depot. I don't have a garage, but I believe that it can be change fairly easily. I'll check out the Lowes website and see if I can find anything.

Oh, and even if you can't, just lock the door that leads from the garage to the house. If she takes something report it stolen.

alright jim!!!
great advice, I am going to give her one last chance to do this amicably, no she doesn't deserve it, but I really don't want anyone going postal. then i take your advice, I have a home depot right down the street, might take a stroll by later. thanks