A self fulfilled prophecy!


In these pages (the "Just found out" forum), and in the "in recovery" forum you frequently see that posters are referred on to the "general questions II" forum because there are more posters over there. If all people leave this place this will be a self fulfilled prophecy!


There ARE more posters over there. But I think the JFO and IR forums serve an important pupose as well. There is a need for a place where the newcomers can give each other comfort. And there is a need for a place where those further on can discus the particular situation of the difficult recovery period.


Newcomers, please consider to keep a presence here in the JFO forum even if you go for the higher number of responses in the GQ II. I believe no one can comfort a newcomer in his/ her fresh pain better then one who has just been there.


GQ II is a good forum with many competent posters. But the slower forums have a value as well. Often the topic in a thread is discussed more thoroughly over time since the thread will stay active on the page for a longer period of time.


Go for the GQ II. You will find more people there. But keep a presence here as well. Help the newcomers. They need it very much. In your own fresh pain you have something to give them. And besides, helping others is a superb therapy for your own pain! I repeat: Helping others is a superb therapy for your own pain! I repeat: Helping others is a superb therapy for your own pain!


You can even listen to and learn from your own advice! Handling the situation of others is much easier then handling your own. And then you find that the other situation is not so different from yours after all.

Agreed. I mean, what's the objective when someone posts here - to simply attract more responses, or to receive advice and support in a way that really helps?

It's easy for someone's cry for help to get lost in the noise on the GQII forum.

Actually, IMO, Newbies advising newbies doesn't work. The blind leading the blind.

GQII is the best place to get support and help IMO.

Frank,

I think you make a good point. I was the BS and felt overwhelmed on GQII board. I did the best Plan A/B I could, but did not save my M. My exH is now asking us to get together again, but it has been years and I think he still has the WS-mind.

There's another problem...and here is where I am off the topic of your orginal thread. Hope you don't mind too much. I took a long time after my divorce to heal myself and rebuild my life before I was willing to start dating. Since then, I've dated some nice people, but nothing seemed to build into anything serious.

Then I met a Norwegian. We get along very well and have so much in common, and we have agreed not to see other people (his idea first). Unfortunately, I am beginning to wonder if the things he says/does mean something different to a guy from Norway than they do to someone from the U.S. (We live and work in the same city in the U.S.) Also, I am becoming suspicious that he is cheating on me, or trying to, or maybe I am just worried about that because of my prior bad experience. I think I have healed from that, but I will never forget it. Would you be willing to give me some personal insight on the cultural differences, if any? If not, I understand and I am sorry to bother you.

Thank you

Hey - are you calling Frank and myself newbies?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

lol. um.... no.

but newcomers goiving newcomers comfort was what he said. GQII is the best place to get help IMO.

In reply to neverthesame!

I certainly can answer any questions you may have regarding how the Norwegians "tick". Though we are of course individuals, not herd animals. We are all different!

As regards faithfulness our standards are like yours. The younger people live together rather then marry, but they consider themselves in a life long, exclusive relationship. Fooling around is considered treason and betrayal. Dishonesty is not accepted (in others at least <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />). So do not accept any nonsense from him. There is a bad apple in every basket.

Should you have more questions use my e-mail (I have edited to removed the e-mail address and also removed the last section of text. It was not well written. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)