My wife moved out in July right after a two week vacation visiting my family. She basically moved in with her boyfriend, though legally has a different address. This whole time she has stated divorce is the only option even though she has given more reason than I to stay married. Either way divorce is what is happening.

What she found out is if we agree on a paragraph or two and simply sign it then that will be our legal seperation. It then will get attached to divorce papers. We are in the state of Virginia.

How does this sound:

As of the date January 26, 2007 all physical property; car, furniture, jewelry, kitchen, electronics, has been divided and agreed upon. Her Name has waive her rights to apply for any alimoney or spousal support. Personal loans have been placed into individual parties name and are the sole responsibilty of that person. My Name 401k starting from his date of hire at Company Name up to the date of physical separation, July 23 2006, will be divided evenly. The 401k will be dispersed as of date of legal divorce has occured. We agree to this separation agreement and it will be valid in a court of law.

Don't know how large the 401k is, but you are going to pay a ton of taxes on the distribution. If you own a home.....re-fi. if not and the 401k is not too huge, find the money to buy her out elsewhere.

Otherwise, make sure she is on the hook for her half of the taxes on the distribution. I learned that from experience.

With a QDRO, there are no taxes on the distribution for either party, as long as each person keeps the money in a qualified retirement plan.

How long have you been married?

have an attorney do the legal sep.

that way you are protected.

mlhb

I'll show you what I had to fill out. Hope it helps.

http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/domestic/jdf1115.pdf

Thank you for the advice. I will be adding a statement about using the QDRO for splitting the 401k. In the small group I am in one of the females is a paralegal and she has agreed to read it just before I send the paragraph back to my wife.

We have been married 7 years. All my counsellors have said the same thing that as soon as I started to get better she was going to run. She was hiding behind my faults and short comings so she did not have to deal with her stuff.

Since we did not own much and are young there was not much to divide, so I feel safe using this method. But thank you for sending me the website!!!!