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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 165 |
Hi All,
1st time posting on this forum. Had just started posting on the EN board, but started doing some snooping and confirmed what i guess I really already knew. I have proof that is good enough for me, but not for a divorce court or OMW. I am not sure if he is D or still married. Anyway, I need some coaching on what tends to be the critical mass of evidence for exposure and also for D if it comes to that. ri literally just found out so my hands are shaking and I do not want to do anything rash in terms of jumping the gun making further data collection more difficult.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 165 |
Proof so far consists of a sound recording of 1/2 of a telephone conversation, but I have been reviewing the cell records and know who OM is need to correllate day/time to records which will not be published by cell company until 2/12 at least.
I am convberting it to MP3 for ease of use. any other suggestions...Call indicates she wants to meet OM tomorrow of Friday. She leave for trade show on Sat.
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222 |
Were you involved in the conversation? If you weren't, it is considered wiretapping and could be used against you. In many states all you have to do to prove infidelity is inclination (excessive phone calls, text messages, or emails that state how they feel) and opportunity (documented time when they were alone together). Post on the GQII forum for more responses and include more of your story (how many years M, history of the M, kids, how WW met OM etc.)
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 165 |
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
shell,
you're looking for proof for exposure. Which is a different burden of proof than legal (like for divorce grounds, which is what Jim was giving you)
You need irrefutible evidence of the depth of their relationship -- ie, whether physical or not.
You don't have to divulge this source of information when confronting your wife -- just calmly state you KNOW.
When it comes to exposing to OM's wife or girlfriend, you need complete full proof. Because they tend to not want to believe it. They tend towards believing whatever cover story OM will concoct -- because that will be less painful.
However, its in your better interest to be able to prove your story when you expose!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
OK I am not going to totally disagree with Lexxy here BUT can I please just say this....
This obsession with evidence is overated. This is not a court of law. You know and your wife knows what is going on. You can bluff, or whatever - you know what you know.
EVERY day that passes causes the affair to become deeper. Less Emotional Attachment makes the addiction easier to break.
My FIRST priority would not be sitting around waiting for your wife to screw OM a few more times and really build the emotional attachment It would be to break up the affair. OM'sW should also be informed - chances are her marriage has also turned to schit and she will either believe you or will be looking. It doesn't matter.
OK - I did disagree with Lexxxy.
I didn't want my wife screwing or meeting OM another day.
Just my 2c
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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