I will try to make this short and sweet...

My H and I have been reconcilling our marriage and things seem to be going well, but I have a question.

One of the first and really only red flags I had prior to my H revealing his A was his inablility to "perform" one evening. I just shrugged it off as well we are in our forties now and I suppose this just happens. Of course three weeks later he sat me down and told me about his infidelity. Like all of us we both have been on a emotional roller coaster but we are making it through counseling, and reading and applying plan A...how to get over an affair is my favorite book.

Last night we had a good evening and when we went to bed for the first time I felt like we were not just "havin sex" I know this sounds silly but I felt like there really was an emotional meeting of the minds per say. Then a few minutes later he was physically unable to continue. I did not show any frustration but did tell him that this scared me and made me worry. Is this part of withdrawal? I suppose it is hard to know but my first thought which he mentioned first by saying he knew what I was thinking is that he had been with the other woman. What do you think? Is that a fair assumption?

I want to trust this guy so badly and in my heart I feel like he is telling me the truth but I still worry and again I wake up depressed.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

what was his response.....

how long is your recovery...

blessings to you on your recovery...

ARK

He says no he has not seen or heard from her.

I only found out in November.

I am thinking of having H followed. This is so not me but I have to know regardless of what my heart tells me. We have found ourselves in a finacial bind right now. I am about to inheiret a very small amount of money from my mothers estate (passed away 7/06). I cannot believe all that has happened but I do not want to pay his debts off which are around 13000 if he is not truly working on this marriage. I cannot believe he would stick around for this but six months ago I could never have believed he would have an Affair.

I cannot even believe I am thinking this way...we have had a great marriage up until this almost 18 married and twenty together ..he said so himself. He says he has no excuse for the A I have been a great wife and mother but ...I just dont know anymore. I am so tired of feeling good one day and near death the next. I am trying to wrap up my mothers estate and sell the house...two children still at home and work part time as RN. They say God wont give you more that you can handle but I just feel like going ahead and having the breakd0own ...if only I had time! LOL!

Mishes, put any money you are getting from your mom into a separate account in your name. In most states, an inheritance is separate property unless you co-mingle it with communtity property.

Please keep it apart for awhile, so you won't kick yourself later. You are very early in recovery to make ANY decisions.

Instead of paying off debts, get yourself a gps and put it in his car. That way you can track his movements from your computer.

I am thinking that he IS trying, but it is too early to trust him. That must be earned over a period of time. You can always help with his debts later. Take your time, and insist on a good recovery.

I did not show any frustration but did tell him that this scared me and made me worry. Is this part of withdrawal?


what was his response...
what did he SAY

ark