ugh.

I ended contact with XBF several months ago. Stopped answering any calls, let them go to voice mail, and didn't return any messages. Too much drama. Always saying he "respects" my new relationship; but if it ever ends....)
He knows now that he made mistakes with me...

So anyway, Saturday he leaves me this message -- VERY URGENT. So I fell for it, and called him back.

He was drunk. Proceeded to tell me he is dying. He has 6 months. They found a baseball sized mass in his liver. Inoperable. He's refusing radiation or chemo, because he has no one to take care of him. (anybody else's red flags start waiving here?) I start questioning him on tests/treatments/staging...he's incoherent. First no one knows, hasn't told his family. Next everyone knows. Then they know, but not everything...

I have red flags flying everywhere.

If its true, I'm a cold heartless (*&%* for doubting him.
If its not true, he's the worlds biggest ()$*)(* for pulling a stunt like this.
Either way -- its not my burden to carry.

I call his best friend/roommate. Tell him everything I've been told. He's devastated. Things fall into place, comments he's made, missing work, etc. So he believes it 100%. He doesn't know what to do. He's waiting for XBF to confide in him, will try to bring it up and let XBF talk.

I get a call on Tuesday. XBF tells me he went to the Dr. on Monday. Now its a "liver infection."

Is it truly possible to mistake a "baseball sized mass" for an infection on an MRI?????

Any medical experts out there?

He says he's p

Ooohhh, stay away from men who claim to be p. They are baaaad news!!

I am not a medical expert - BUT, I had a wacko MD for a short time - that NO matter what was wrong with me, he would give me a few things it could be and always threw in - or it could be cancer.

I did change MD's as this guy was Mr. Doom and Gloom...

So I guess they may have just given him all scenerios, and he got drunk and freaked out... He was probably looking for a sympathetic shoulder to cry on...just in case....

Maybe he really has sirossis.

curious: lol...I have no idea where I was going with that sentence....

Ithurts: I know docs have to cover all their bases. BUT, this was a completed MRI test -- can those 2 things appear that much alike?
Plus, he's said this has been going on for a month. Would they really delay treatment and testing this long?
I am soooo skeptical....

cinderella: wouldn't be surprised...sadly....

I don't know anything about cancer of the liver. However, I do know that some doctors may weigh quality of life against the survival benefits.

Lexxxy, I'd just say a prayer for this man. There's nothing you can in any of the scenarios. Don't feel guilty for doubting him--he was drunk for heaven's sake.

HUGS.

Hi Lexxxy,

I'm an RN so I'll give my viewpoint based only on what you said.

It does seem your exBF may be sick but what exactly with is anyone's guess.MRI's are very detailed and accurate so there really would be little chance of an actual mass being confused with just an infection/inflammatory process(hepatitis).Plus if he had such a large mass in his liver he would likely have had signs and symptoms of such as jaundice,loss of weight/appetite,weakness,abnormal lab values,etc.(also seen is cirrhosis which is seen end stage to long term infection/inflammation, for example alcohol abuse).Also an infection usually presents as a generalized reaction,not localized as in a mass.Tumors can be benign or cancerous.

What may have happened was the doctor told him it "could" be a tumor" based on symptoms when in fact they didn't have all the tests in or the report finalized.So when your ex went back for the follow-up and was told it's an "infection" he changed his story and it might just have been true.

Anyway,your ex sounds desperate and I too would be upset if he called under those circmustances and it turned out to be nothing serious vs the "6 months to live" scenario.Calling you drunk too was inappropriate.I wouldn't worry about it too much.Afterall he's the ex right? You can send your sympathies if need be but don't get dragged into the quagmire.

Either way it's sad. Whether he truly has this illness, or if he's that emotionaly messed up...

AB -- thanks so much! That is exactly the kind of information I was looking for.

He's a big drinker -- I would not be surprised to hear its infection/cirrhosis.

It really is sad.

His friend has tried calling me, but I'm just going to stay out of it. Back to darkness.

Thanks ALL!