Ive had a number of user IDs since my WW reads posts here.
My story:
On Dec 31st by WS comes clean about a PA she had in august and september. Drinking was a factor, so I gave her some credit for being very drunk and thought, perhaps, we could work thruogh things. People here said 'dont take much blame, she is at fault' etc. I instead started to defend the WW and assume the drinking was the main issue.
The same day I learned my WW was in an EA with someone she met on the internet in mid-November. She had only known him online and in phone calls, so I figured, 'how attached could she be'? When I asked her to NC him while we tried to work on things on January 2nd, so went off on me, claiming he was 'just friends' and 'there for her'. Warning signs??? Oh yeah. Did I listen to people here, no, I once again listened to WW.
I stayed at my parents for one week to think about our marriage and wife went back home to also think about things. SUPPOSEDLY. Instead, while I was thinking about our marriage, getting a plan A together, she jumped in bed with the EA several times BEFORE I even got back in to town. This from a women that was raised Catholic and lectured me prior to marriage that 'marriage is for life'!
For the last 3 weeks, she has continue this PA while also sleeping with me (exposing me to potential STDs) and lecturing me about how she 'cant get the spark back' and 'feels we are just friends' (of course she did - she was on her 2nd man in 5 months!) I was in misery, telling her my feelings, trying to do a plan A, trying to make things work, yet she essentially was fence sitting and showing no respect.
She sees no ethical or moral issues with sleeping with other men married it appears. She is sad she 'hurt me' but not really upset at herself about the EA of the two seperate PAs, just that she was caught really.
The sad thing is watching someone you loved self destruct. in 5 months she has gone from a loving women with ethics and morals who had only slept with me in her life (she is 29) to someone completely confused. Someone who can lie, cheat, stab me in the back, etc and not feel bad about it at all!
The lesson to anyone new here? LISTEN to people here, DO NOT TRUST the WS, DO NOT LET THEM hurt you more, and pay attention to what people say about fog speak. Your spouse might have been trustworthy once, but during the fog period at least, they are a different person.
My only comfort is knowing I did marry a beautiful person once, the sad thing is this new person is only a shadow of that great person.
Good luck to everyone here.
