For that group or any other, I think the real risk factors are as follows:
1) Big Failure. "My life sucks, so I deserve to have some fun."
2) Big Success. "My life is GREAT, so I deserve to have some FUN!!!"
So then mediocrity is the Holy Grail of fidelity.
No, I would say that being able to handle both failure and success in a healthy and realistic way is the Holy Grail of Fidelity.
If you are crushed by failure and can't see any way out of it, you just might descend into something like alcohol, drugs and/or infidelity in an effort to self-medicate and make yourself feel better.
(You will see people like this living on the streets or trapped in seedy little lives or appearing on the Jerry Springer show.)
And if you encounter success and start believing your own bullsh*t - start believing that you really are so wonderful and fabulous and special that you deserve every perk that comes your way, including the alcohol and the drugs and/or the sex - then you will not have any reason to say "no" to those things when they turn up free for the taking.
(You will see people like this on the news and gossip columns all the time - they are the screen stars and sports heros who believe their own bullsh*t and often end up self-destructing at the height of their careers.)
In my WH's case, he hit Big Success but there was nothing in his background (growing up in poverty and neglect) to teach him how to handle it in a healthy way. So he didn't. And still doesn't, IMHO.
(Sorry, Dr. LM, I think you meant this thread for a little levity and there I go dragging it down. There's one in every crowd.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Mulan
