First off, my wife and I have ben married 10 years now. About 5 years ago I had a two year affair. I regret it and wish I never did it. I love my wife. It has been 3 years since it ended and I have been faithul since (except I did some emailing and chatting online NOT TO HER and not anymore). We were in counseling since we first got together...its been a hard marriage, no kids. About 3 months ago, my wife said she wants a divorce because I have not shown her that I love her enough. Basically, in regular cycles, she goes crazy with anger, she is paranoid and obsessed about my affair and causes a complete marital disruption causing us to start all over again. The problem is that I want to forget the affair and move forward in our marriage...and it hurts that she acts like she loves me, trusts me then regularly "rakes me over the coals" again. I know she is hurt, I am hurt too...I hurt myself and everyone who knew me. My wife and I have only had sex about twice in the last 3 years. Last night I asked if she could wear some lingere' and she refused...reacted negatively only remebering my affair. We had a huge fight and today and I told her she must return to counseling with me or individually if she is to get over the affair, work on forgiving me, and moving forward in the marriage. For both of our sake, I need her to get involved in helping to heal this marriage, or else this marriage is only a torture for both of us and it should end. We have lived like this too long. HELP ME PLEASE <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
