Since I don't have alot of free time to devote to a relationship I was wondering -

If you become deeply involved with someone - how much time do you want to spend with them? How much free time do you want for yourself?

WH spends many week-nites until 12 am, 1 or 2 am) with his gf. then on Friday after work he goes to her place and doesn't get back to our home until very late Sunday (like 3 am) or until Monday morning enough time to catch an hours sleep, gets up and goes to work. and the whole process starts all over again.

I can't see me spending all that time with someone and never having any ME time..Maybe I am just selfish but I have alot of other outside interest.

I can't imagine spending on a consistent basis 3 days and nites with someone and not having alittle ME time..Though, WH is very good at sitting around watching tv and doing nothing else..maybe that's what they do together..LOL
I guess they are "playing house"...

My ex and his girlfriend have been living together since April '05, and never do anything apart - I mean, not ever.

I admit that independent behaviour was one of my faults in our marriage - I do like time to myself - but the ex has gone to the other extreme with the OW. To be honest, I don't think she wants to let him out of her sight.

Still, if it makes them happy... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

my opinion is that even when you are married or in a committed relationship you still need some time to yourself. both of you do. it is not healthy i don't think to be 24/7 up someone's you know what.

he needs to be able to hang with the guys and kick back with a beer watching the game without you around, and we need to be able to go have girls night out or girls night shopping or whatever.

don't get me wrong, i love spending time with a special someone and going to eat or going to movies or just laying around at home watching a movie. i love that time and that time is important.

this is hard for me to answer right now because my dating relationship is ldr so.... we spend time together about once a month if that. there are times we would like more time and times we think that this amount is just right... i'd say for the stage we are at and for the pace we want to take this, the amount of time we spend is ok for now. BUT, we do usually talk every day on the phone and/or via email. so i guess that counts too.

but 24/7 all the time with no me time? don't think so. and i would not want that for him either.

mlhb

I'm in my first serious relationship since my divorce (one year, 7 months now, who woulda thunk it!) and I think that we spend just the right amount of time together for our situation.

We see each other on the weekends, most weekends, unless he has his daughter, and sometimes we all go out together. Once or twice for a quick dinner or some TV time during the week. It's plenty. Both he and I have pretty full lives outside of work (volunteer work, community activity, I teach CCD) so we have pretty full schedules.

I sometimes project into the future (not the best idea, I admit) and I'm wondering if I'd EVER want to spend 7 days a week with someone - I'm 45 and really and truly love my "alone" time.....never gonna hear me complain that I'm bored and lonely.

So for now, I'm happy with the status quo. I dunno - if you are busy with work, family and other activities, how in the world do you find all that spare time to hang with one another?

Laura

Having lived alone for nearly two years now, I honestly can't imagine sharing my home again with another adult. I'm queen in my castle!

I spend most of my time alone, and I just don't get lonely - I have far too much to do. To be honest, it wouldn't be fair to expect anyone to put up with that level of emotional independence.

Alph.

Yes, my independent behaviour didn't help my M either. But, I always encouraged WH to have his time with the guys too. If he went golfing it didn't bother me how long he was gone, because I kept myself busy. Trouble is some people can't handle being alone or know how to keep busy without getting into "trouble". Then he didnt' want to do anything that we use to do together.

I guess WH does have alittle away time from her when he stays at home a nite or two. Even so, Fri,Sat,Sun straight every week-end would drive me nuts, especially if I was in someone else's home. I could handle it in my own home, as I'd keep busy with laundry, cleaning, whatever but what do you do in someone else's home???

If I was his gf and know what I know, (which I am sure she doesn't )believe me, I wouldn't let him out of my sight either..LOL...But, all that is for her to find out..on her own. But, who wants to live like that??? Not me..

Hugs

My ex is a musician in a R&B band. It's all male, and was his equivalent of your WH's golfing, I guess - time away from wife and kids to let it all hang out.

When he left, he said "(I'm leaving you because) I never have any time to myself!"

I said: "What about the band - you have time out for playing and drinking every weekend!"

He said: "(I'm leaving you because) You never come to my gigs any more!"

LOL! I just sat there with my mouth open. He has no space and too much? Give me a break. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Obviously, the OW goes to all his gigs now. She doesn't even like music. And they are teachers in the same school together, they live together, are never seen out without each other...

Be careful what you wish for, is all I can say...

Alph.

[quote
To be honest, it wouldn't be fair to expect anyone to put up with that level of emotional independence.

Alph. [/quote]

This is what I fear too. I know that my bf wants to remarry eventually, he's certain about that. I'm not certain about that at all. I try to "never say never" but if he asked for marriage today, I'd honestly say no. So I'm wondering when we are going to have the "where is this relationship going?" discussion. His youngest is off to college in the fall, and he says that is when he can start again to think about his future......stay tuned.

Laura