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Marriage on Life Support: Infatuation or Love for WS and OM??
#1816519 01/29/07 07:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 36
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InfatorLove
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InfatorLove
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There is a lot of talk here about affairs and the WS being in a log during them. I can see that particularly in the case of 6 month+ affairs, but what about the case of a WS being essentially infatuated with someone over the course of 8 weeks? (6 week internet EA and 2 week PA in the face of the BS, i.e. telling him she is going to OM no matter what BS says and that she doesnt have self control)?

My WS is throwing away a 10 year marriage of essentially an infatuation (unless 6 weeks internet EA plus 4 in persom meetings for PA affair = true love lol) yet it is like talking to a teenager in terms of telling her to NC. (Despite all family against, all friends against, and obvious impact divorce will have on her lifestyle options.)

With infatuation is PLAN B immediately a better move?
Re: Marriage on Life Support: Infatuation or Love for WS and OM??
InfatorLove #1816520 01/29/07 07:24 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband Offline
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Pepperband
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if you have not been a terrible husband all along....

I think a quick Plan B might shock her with the high cost of her infatuation

the comment

Quote
she doesnt have self control

is pretty interesting

I'd say

"OK. I believe you when you say you have no self control. To protect myself from your out of control behavior, I want you to move out. I cannot control you. You cannot control yourself. I don't want to watch you crash. You can do this wretched thing without taking me along."

but, others may disagree

in situations like this ... MORE PAIN is better for her in the sense she will crash sooner

crashing sooner is better for the marriage
less resentment to make up for later

PLUS ... less for the WW to hate herself for in the future

she's out of control
step away

Pep

Last edited by Pepperband; 01/29/07 07:29 PM.
LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders
Re: Marriage on Life Support: Infatuation or Love for WS and OM??
Pepperband #1816521 01/29/07 07:36 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Sydney, Australia
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bigkahuna Offline
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bigkahuna
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totally agree with Pep.

Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Re: Marriage on Life Support: Infatuation or Love for WS and OM??
Pepperband #1816522 01/29/07 07:37 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936
Los Angeles, California
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techie Offline
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techie
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"plan B" is not supposed to be a weapon, or a tactic.

Some kind of withdrawal may be in order. But shall we call it something else, other than "plan B"?
Re: Marriage on Life Support: Infatuation or Love for WS and OM??
bigkahuna #1816523 01/29/07 07:39 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband Offline
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Pepperband
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[color:"red"] PS

please quit changing your screen name and stop deleting your old posts

Pep [/color]

Last edited by Pepperband; 01/29/07 07:48 PM.
LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders
Re: Marriage on Life Support: Infatuation or Love for WS and OM??
Pepperband #1816524 01/29/07 07:40 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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medc Offline
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medc
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I agree 100% with Pep... show that there are consequences for these actions before they get too far along.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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