Hi Princess:

Kind of a T/J: The Art of Seduction is a great book. I think you would find it to be fascinating. It's not X-rated AT ALL. It's about the PSYCHOLOGY of SEDUCTION...very interesting...

I'm an avid reader and it would be interesting read. I wonder how many career OW (OW who purposely seek out married men) use things like this to sharpen their claws.

Someday that will be in my library!

For now, it SAA, HB/HN, and FIL/SIL!

Well, Drac did read an email I sent,, it said 'I am getting one of these for vacation' and had a skimpy swimsuit attached.

I still have not gotten confirmation that he picked up the ecard. He may have just deleted it.

I picked up an entire DOZEN balls for Drac, just in case the HO tries to take any, he will still have some!


Also picked up bday cards for him from me and the kids.

If I am unable to have the planned talk or if I do not get it all across the way I want, I will need to figure out a bday gift

If I am still in Plan A, I will ask him to dinner at HOME for his bday as well. Expect he has 'plans' but til Plan B, will keep offering.

Am going to finish another 30 min of work and then head out for the weekend

Bugs...

Someone led me to a great site, I will get you the link when I go out later, left it in my car.

It reminded me of this.
Question: "Why does my husband keep saying he wants a divorce and he's never coming back?"
Answer: He is not making an announcement to you. He is reminding himself. Every "never coming back" should tell you that he is thinking of home.

Scripture of the day:
Isiah 43:2~ " when you pass thru the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass thru the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk thru the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze."

That is exactly what we are going through. The water was when our spouses left, the rivers I see now as our plan A, and when we plan B, and even if they do complete the divorce it will not burn us. We just have to keep praying for our spouses salvation. When got turns them around they will be back with us. We have to be patient and wait for God to serve his purpose and will. Ask God when you should plan B. He will give you his answer.

Something else to Remember:
THe enemy will turn the big guns on you when your miracle is about to happen. Expect the Lord to help you in this day of discouragement, for we know he will. " Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day of my trouble, I will call to you, for you will answer me." Psalm 86:6-7

" And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:15-16.

I am praying for you and your family as well as others here on this site. Keep praying for yourself to, that when Drac does come home, that the Lord will enable you to forgive Drac for everything he has done. Remember the Lord forgave us when he died on the cross, and we are to forgive others the same exact way.

Standing in your faith means not giving up on Drac regardless of what he may do or say. You are standing and believing for your marriage covenant to be restored.

write this scripture down and memorize it, I have replaces the man, him with you to make it read easier:

"Blessed is Bugs who perserveres under trial, because when she has stood the test, she will receive the crown of life that GOD has promised to those who love him." James 1:12.

Bugs you are so close. Satan wants you to give up. God wants you to push on. To stay determined. To have strenght. To endure. And most of all, to keep asking God for help, and trusting and believing him to do so.

You are a strong christian with a good faith. Don't lose that hope that God has shown you. We are here to keep you lifted and encouraged.

God bless you on your journey sweetie.....

Ah, INeed!

Your prayer to be a blessing and a help to others has certainly been answered. I always find such comfort in your morning posts!

Thanks so much!

OOPs! Had more to say, but posted by accident.

I am at my sister's this morning and not used to her keyboard and high speed!

Yes, I NEED is an angel here on earth for you, BUGS...

What a BEAUTIFUL, INSPIRATIONAL POST!!

Lean on the EVERLASTING ARM...and HE will TAKE CARE of you...HE will never leave you or forsake you...

I NEED..I'm calling her MY SISTER IN CHRIST...

Ok, this is too weird! One last try here!



Thanks so much!!!! What great reminders, great hope, and I love standing on Scripture! It helps me keep on that high road when it is most difficult!

Ok, so Drac called while I had yet to get the kids yesterday to tell me that DD didn't have on the clothes I sent her because the ones I sent were still in his car. She'd tried to tell him that am that the ones he told her to put on out of a bag were dirty, but he didn't believe her.

Well, she was right! The ones that he told her to put on were ones she'd had at the sitters or something. Which is probably where the other missing clothes are as well, in bags laying around his house.

WHY is this such a big deal for him?

So, I had the kids call last night from the lake. I got on with him and told him about DD being sick. She'd complained the night before a bit about her ear hurting. She'd told me yesterday am that it hurt, but Drac said she was fine. The sitter called and told me she was complaining about it. So, I called the dr and had them call in a script for swimmer's ear.

By the time I picked her up last night, she was running a fever and apparently has a full blown ear infection. So, I made a deal with her that we'd go to the lake for the fireworks last night, but that we could not camp out.

I told him about this,,,,and as we were talking I could hear stuff in the background and then I made a HUGE Plan A mistake. I asked about what he was doing.

I was sorry the second I said it because as soon as he replied, "I am bar-b-quing with "friends"", I was MAD. I was mad at myself for being so stupid as to ask and I was mad at him for the stupid code word use.

I border line LB'd and said, "well, yes, I'm sure you are" in a smart a$$ tone and then said gotta go we'll call you tomorrow and hung up. UGGGH!


I was up and down thru the night, so sent Drac a few text messages. That HAS to pi$$ off the HO, becuase she has to know that it's ME, even if he doesn't read or answer them at the time <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />:)

So, we watched fireworks, DD didn't feel well at all. So, we came back and slept here at my sister's. DD is still running a temp, so she may spend the day at Grandma's so I can still take DSS to the lake for a bit.

Have a great day everyone.

Wed is my 10th anniversary. Do I recognize it or ignore it.
I was thinking of giving him a cigar wrapped in a box with a couple daiseys (our wedding flower) and a happy anniversary balloon.

Please reply at ...

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/fav...amp;postmarker=

Also, for everyone here.... I have prayed that the Lord would give me christian friends and enable me to help others. It is only by HIS divine guidance that I am able to help you also. It is strange, but God normally gives me the advice I give to you only a day or so before hand.

I get the information and study it and next thing you know it's your post or one other one that I answer that I am able to give inspiration to.

HE is WONDERFUL !!! I am blessed to have GOD on my side.
So are all of you. I read your posts and it inspires me the same way.

YES, YOU'VE GOT IT, BUGS!!

It is a tested FORMULA that you must BELIEVE IN..almost ON FAITH!!

I, for one, am behind you 100%.

Faith is right! Both in God and in the Plan/MB concepts

It truly is a shift in my belief system as Steve and I have talked about.

DD started throwing up, so I called the dr had to take her in.

I decided to wait to call Drac til after the appt, but he called while we were on our way

When I got on the phone after the kids, he was pissy, wanting to know why I did not call this a.m. I said I figured I'd wait til after the appt so we'd know what the dr said.

Drac -'You weren't going to call to let me know you were taking her!'

Bugs 'No, as things haven't changed and I had nothing to tell you until we see the dr'

I WANTED to say, 'why should I call on schedule when YOU never do?! But I kept it in plan A. I even said I was sorry.

So after we talked about that and DD, and even about his work, he says, ' What is up with you asking what I am doing, I tell you I am barbquing w/friends, and then you say 'whatever' and hang up'

Bugs calmly says 'I am sorry about that. Without going into a whole lot here in the car, I made a mistake. I was upset with myself as soon as I asked the question'

Drac 'WHAT?'

Bugs 'Drac, for years I would ask what you were up to and you would say 'I am with x, y, and z. We are doing this or that'

Now when you say 'I am w/FRIENDS, I take that as code for you not wanting me to know WHO you are with and I am not a part of it. That HURTS SO badly.

I was even upset with myself, as I should have known better than to even ask. I knew I would be hurt, and I was. It just cuts me so deeply'.

Drac was quiet and then says 'I am not trying to fight with you, Bugs'

Bugs 'Drac, I don't think you are trying to fight with me, not at all. You asked me a question and I am just telling you the truth that includes the fact that it is hurtful to me'.

Drac 'well call me about our girl'

I said 'will do'

Took DD to the dr, ear infection as expected. Prescribed antibiotic. Called Drac and left vm that just said we were finished at the dr, so he would HAVE to call back

When he did he talked to DD first then to me. Gave him the details of her appt and even made a few jokes at my own expense.

He is at work, due to the holiday, so I told him to call us later, he said ok

I said 'great, maybe you can come by if you like. Talk to you later, bye'

Did not give him the chance to say No to the offer to come by.

It was hard putting it out there that I still hurt, but as Steve recommended it, I did.

My Mom asked, and I am wondering, too, why Drac seems so concerned WHERE I am. It makes me wonder what he is up to? Planning to get stuff out of the house? Worried I will bust him at the Ho's house?

Any thoughts?

Am hanging out w/the kids inside for now. It is pretty hot outside. May try to mow grass later if it cools off a bit.

My main recommendation to you is to do EXACTLY what STEVE tells you to do. It worked so SURPRISINGLY well for me.

About DRAC, try to take your focus OFF OF HIM completely and FOCUS on yourself and YOUR PLAN.

Make the ASSUMPTION..which is probably correct..that whatever he is up to is NOT GOOD and KNOW that YOU certainly CANNOT CONTROL what he may do. You only have CONTROL over yourself and your PLAN.

Hang in there, Bugsy...

Sorry to hear about your daughter...

Just peeking in here... wishing you success in your plan, Bugsmom... and INeedAHug - thank you for posting that inspirational posting... I needed to read something like that about now, and it is a large comfort to all who can read those words and believe.

JinGA

Hey Jin! Thanks for peeking in AND letting me know you stopped by! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Mimi.

I need someone to remind me of the right focus, especially right now.

My strength is almost tapped and my anger is building. Every interaction is a Risk. A BIG risk.

He finally called. DD is feeling much better and he talked to her very briefly and then talked to DSS.

I knew from his tone and hurried voice he wasn't going to allow for much conversation, he is in a rush to get to her, and I was immediately angry.

Instead of doing any LB'ing, I let him rush me off the phone and then I threw it across the room onto a couch so it would not break and the kids would not know.

I HAVE to figure out how I can talk to him tomorrow and get to Plan B before I blow it.

FIL was by for a minute today. He's 'given up' on Drac. He is tired of his manipulations and disrespect. He confronted Drac about how he never calls FIL to let him know if he is coming home or not, and how he just assumes FIL will take care of all of the pets over there. He told Drac the only time he calls is when he NEEDS something.

So, the fact that life at FIL's is not going well is NOT really good for me. It keeps Drac at the Ho house to avoid FIL, and it helps him wanting to be FINISHED with horrible old Bugs.

Torn right now between angry and sad

BTW - offer on the house was countered with a ridiculous counter offer. I offered the most I could afford

So, am trusting God to show me the way on that as well.

At least you didn't break valuable things..yes plural..like I did...

I remember going on a rampage with pictures..took all of the FAMILY pictures down...

Have any of HIS STUFF that you can trash?

You will find the house that is meant for you.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, Bugs.

Mimi,

I was JUST sitting here thinking about this favorite shirt that is still in his closet or the 4 wheeler in the garage isn't is sugar that you put in a gas tank?

If the kids were not here, believe me, it would be a rampage!

It is so funny to hear you say to me the things I say to my Mom or that she says to me! I have FIRMLY believed and said OUT LOUD that the right thing will happen at the RIGHT time, as it is in His hands.

A friend gave me a satue with verse from Proverbs and I keep it on my kitchen counter.

I am going to wait a bit and send Drac a tm. Will send to his work phone, as I bet he leaves the personal one in the car since I sent tm to it last night!:)

Bugs, I am sorry that you are having to go through so much with Drac but I am impressed with how you have handled everything. I've noticed from reading your postings that their seems to be some divine intervention on your behalf at the times that you need it the most. You are a very inspiring Lady.

Diana:

The Lord takes care of his own..the righteous..

He will never leave you or forsake you if you accept HIM as your PERSONAL SAVIOR...

Having some CHURCH on Saturday night..

Back to the regularly scheduled program...

I certainly am leading a NORMAL LIFE NOW...my H is dead asleep at 9:30 on Saturday night... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'm thankful to have him here with me..believe me there was many a Saturday night when I sat there just like you Bugs..so I really feel your pain...

Wow!

Giving and receiving inspiration all in the same night, all on th same thread! Pretty darn good!

Diana, thanks so much for those kind words and observation. Yes, I believe I have Him on my side! Hopefullu the path he has for me is recovery of mu M,, that is what I believe.

Mimi, so pleased and envious of of you! Spoon w/hin tonight! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, sent Drac 3 tm's last night,,of a suggestive nature that escalted in each one

He only read the first one. Guess he deleted the others. OUCH!

Oh well, not really surprising.

So, today am going to work to gather my strength, get in full Goddess mode to talk to him later during pick up/drop off of DSS.

I talked again w/DSS last night. He said Drac had told him we are getting a D but that is all. No discssion, no chance for DSS to express himself or ask questions on what would be happening in his life moving forward.

He even commented 'well, this has happened to me before'.

I explained that this is NOT like those other time because no matter what, I will always be his Mom and he will be a part of my life.

I tried to prepare him a bit for Plan B without letting on too much. Explained my love for Drac, as well as the hurt. My desire for us to recover, but the possibility that it may not happen is something we will all have to deal with.

He did not have much to say, but atleast knows he can come to me anytime. I again restated that he does not have to keep secrets and should not be in the middle of it in any way.

So, think I will takle kids shopping for Drac's bday present and for me some shorts for tomorrow.

Send those prayers for the opportunity to talk to Drac and that I will be given the words to get across the message to him

Later!