Good Morning BUGS, are you listening to that little voice inside of you?

What is it saying to you? Just myPOV, but I think that if you listen really hard you will hear why you are being wishy washy. I know that sometimes I don't hear that little voice b/c then I would have to admit and own what it is saying to me...

Not always the easiest thing to do, to be honest with self about why we do the things that we do, why we think the things that we think, why we fear the things that we fear...

Can you listen to that voice and see what it's saying?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Supporting you everyday!

Rin

I agree with Meggy. Let the attorneys negotiate from now on.

I also agree with Lexx...

Have everything AIRTIGHT 'cause he will try to break PLAN B..and we want you to GO DARK and to STAY DARK..

Of course you are being wishy-washy. I was pushed and shoved into PLAN B. You will miss him. You will yearn for him. You will go through withdrawal. You also have to be EMOTIONALLY READY cause to be honest with you..it will feel like he is DEAD..been there done that with deceased loved ones..and I treated it like that..that my H was DEAD to ME...as we have told you, you will need to be at the place where you have LET HIM GO...that you have done ALL THAT YOU CAN DO..you will need to TURN HIM OVER TO GOD...of course, you are being wishy-washy...cause you still have LOVE for him...

Bugs:

That's why I asked you the question.

Make sure your Head/Heart were in sync.

We have made some fun about going to PLAN B, and that WH will be crushed by it, etc.

But this is no joking matter.

There is a Plan, and a well thought out thoery for Plans A/B.

Your Lawyer isn't familiar with it, but you are.

I do not believe that you are going against anything your lawyer has advised you. You are simply stating to WH that he can have what he wants....

- A divorce, nasty or otherwise, that he controls the destiny of, you are not going to help in the process.

- Unfettered and unlimited access to OW. Which he currently has, but you are no longer in that triangle.

- His life the way he planned it. And your not in it.

- He can make no demand on you to "be his friend" or "speak to him"

- He doesn't want you anymore? Then you are stepping away.

The Plan B letter is very clear about this.

Be strong.

Today, or tommorrow, or the next day.

Deliver it when it seems right.

Then you can start repairing that hole in your heart.

LG

Hey everyone.

I just finished an hour and 45 minute phone coaching session for work on some skills that are really a strech for me and I am wiped out!

Was reading your posts and thinking how Plan B will enable me to spend more time and energy on that vs spending it on Drac!

Meggy, your points make sense to me. I mean, really, WHY do I need to see or talk to him at this point?

My A agreed that the schedule, which included how to communicate with me, was OK. I would think that would be identified as a problem is there were any to be found, right?

Ok, so that question is answered.

Lexxxy, the letter does have the schedule and the info on calling on the kids cell phone.

Now, I can block his calls, but doesn't the caller I.d.still show the number if he does call?

The biggest holes I have are at work. I do not have caller I'd on my work office phone. I guess if he tries calling here, I will just have to let calls go to vm for a while and delete any messages

Last week I did not take a few of his calls and it actually, to my surprise, did not bother me.

I am also going to have to ck on work email blocking. As we are 'coworkers' I do not know if I CAN block him. The simple answer is just to forward them to be read and not read them myself. I can do that

For me, the worst part is SEEING him. I know of no upcoming work functions that would involve both of us. Lord knows HE has done a GREAT job of avoiding seeing me, so I can easily do the same.

Mimi,

For me, I feel very ready to put him into that 'you are dead to me' catagory. Atleast that is how it is right this minute.

I know it will change at times. I just know I can not stand to have him look me in the eyes and continue to lie to me. THAT is worse than not seeing him at all to me.

I have serious doubts about him trying to break Plan B, unless it is something to do with the kids. Other than that I am pretty sure he is going to be quite releaved to finally have what he says he wants, freedom to 'live his life the way he wants'

That's fine with me, because the way he is living it now is something I want no part of at all!

Have some work to catch up on.

Ok, Drac just called me to tell me that DSS is spending the night @ Aunt D's house tonight. I said ok. He then said that he (Drac) would be picking him up.

I replied that he would be getting him from the sitter as I will be late tonight. He asked if sitter knew that. I said yes

He said, 'well I vae to be at work at 2am'

I said oh,I used no 'tone' and asked no questions

So he says 'I just wanted to let you know'. I said thanks.

WTF?? He had no reason to have to tell me other than I would have possibly heard about it from the kids or the Aunt's??

(((Bugs)))

Time to stop trying to figure how his motives...

ASSUME them to be ALL BAD...

Today is Tuesday, Bugs..

Remind us..what's up...

When Plan B?

Mimi,

EGG-ZACT-LEE to quote Pep (who I hope has not left us for good!)

I Am Sure his motives are very bad. In fact, I am so tempted not to give him the loving PBL, but just edit it down to say I do not want to see you or talk to you as I am sick and tired of you lying to my face and being such a selfish b*st*rd!

Tomorrow night is Plan B time. I am picking up the tent and will take it to him at FIL's house and give him the letter then. He will have the kids so I can come home and cry or go out and celebrate, depending on my mood at the moment.

I have heard so many different stories that he's told to others today, including the lies he told me that I no longer know the person he has become. I want nothing to do with him and am questioning why to even give him the letter saying I believe we can work it out. He's just going to laugh.

Wow- I am overdue for plan b!

Bugs:

Do not let what your sister or anyone else tell you what to do when it comes to Drac. The only one you should be listening to is GOD. Let him direct your pathways.

I believe Drac is trying to tell you more information so that you in turn will do the same. He wants to know your every move, don't give into that. Keep him guessing.

INeed,

You know what? I am done speculating on why Drac is doing anything. We can guess all day and never know for sure

Time to let go.

I will deliver PBL tonight and decend into the darkness.

My agent is making another offer on a house and I am moving forward, alone. Drac will fall and land on his own, whereve and however that may be.

Only 1 question - type written or hand written letter?

Now, I have more important things to do, like put in my application on the Killer Bee thread!

Accepted! Please processed to pick up your gear!

Thank you and have a great day!

Ok -- So we're done with Drac. Bye Drac!!!

Now; lets talk about Bugs. Anything you've always wanted to do but never did? I gotta tell you I've taken up some crazy hobbies. But I have a BLAST!

I play hockey. Like as in Ice Hockey. With a bunch of other mom's. It is a fantastic workout, and I had no idea how much FUN it is! No wonder my boys loved it!
It gives me a whole new appreciation for their talent.

I think I probably have more free time than you, cuz my kids are older (no babysitters required).

Is there something you and DD could get involved with together? When my DD was your DD's age she started playing baseball (I coached) then moved into girls softball.

Does DD like dancing? girl scouts? sports?

My vote is for HANDWRITTEN..more intimate...

My H referred back specifically to passages in the PBL as if he reread it over and over...

It's supposed to be a LOVE LETTER...

Mimi,

I am going to use some of the last bit of love to hand write the PBL this afternoon. The rest will then be safely stored away. I even went and purchased some very pretty paper.

Lexxxy,

For the immediate future, I will be spending time on buying a house, and packing up. Will also be spending a LOT of time and energy reassuring DD and DSS as things start to trally change for us all. I plan for us to do fun things as much as possible, while getting the 'must do' work done at the same time

The area where I am moving is not just where I will have family activities, but also have TONS of friends there. Just yesterday one mentioned starting some activities together!

Also, I wil FINALLY be in a position for DD to become involved in activites. She wants to start dance and/or gymnastics. She will definately play ball next summer (I was a big ballplayer in the day)

Thanks for hanging with me everyone!

I just returned from a GREAT client appt and am really feeling very up today! I expect this trend to continue in Plan B!

I know the sentiment for your head and heart being in sync makes sense, but, Bugs, it took me going into Plan B, going through withdrawal and self-examination to truly be in sync. Until then, trust the Plans, try to trust the guidance that you are getting, it is and will be invaluable one day. PRICELESS.

Hang in there, girl. You are in my thoughts. It is rough, at first, lots of calls and emails and attempts to contact you MAY occur, so be ready to IGNORE it. When the attempts stop, ignore that too, okay. It doesn't mean anything, not to you, not right now.

One piece of advice that I should have used more often in the initial stages; come here and post BEFORE you do anything; it can save you from doing something you will regret.

SL,

Thanks for the great advise! I am taking it to heart, especially about posting BEFORE doing anything!

I just hope I am able to put my mind elsewhere when it come to him. He has shown he is going to do whatever he wants and to he77 with the rest of the world. Going so far as to have the recent overnights has put this over the top for me.

Right this minute going to get a cool drink, sooth my nerves, and write out the letter.

Bugs:

Sort of like the Lightenbug Name.... But it would be cooler around here if the name stayed the same for all the old posts, and only changed it on the existing posts. (Much like the sig block...)

Yes, the kids activities start to ramp up. Join a pool club, and go swimming with DD every day.

So you were the baseball player in your youth?

There might be an evening softball league you could join. Play the nights that Drac has the kids. Or do it with DD with you. She will learn much about being a strong woman there.

Just a few thoughts.

LG

Lg,

Yeah, it does stink that all of the posts change. I don't know if I will change or not. I will always be Mom to my little bug, no matter what Drac does so am thinking I may stay the same, especially now he is a 'non-issue'

Yes, I played a lot of softball through the years. One of the friends I mentioned is currently on a team and I will be checking into that for the fall.

There's lots we can do and WILL do. Some of it will have to wait for a bit,, moving is the high priority right now.

I did confirm w/the school district that they will let DD register if I have a contract on a house in the district! Good news if I can get one!

BUgs:

Just wanted to say thanks for joining us here.

I hoped I helped in some small way the past six-eight months for you.

With some work committments and vacations coming, I will be in rather limited access to this site for the next month.

Will chime in when I can.

Give Drac a Great big KISS and Hug when yoiu give him the letter tonight.

Give him something to think about.

Good luck on the house hunting...

LG

LG,

I will miss you! Thanks for letting me know what's up.

I can not begin to tell you how very much I appreciate the advise, insights, laughs, and your oh so giving & open spirit! You have helped me more than words can say.

My heart would lift just seeing that you had posted on my thread, even if just to say hello.

Good luck with everything you have going on. Be sure to thank Flamingo for being so generous with your time, too!

Bless you my friend!

Well Drac has ruined my PBL plan for tonight. I went by FIL's and he was gone. Getting ready for his biker weekend

After spending an hour back & forth on the phone w/my realtor, I called to say goodnight to DD. Drac answered. He left her at R's house while HE shops for his trip.

He is the most selfish self centered pr*ck right now! UGH! He made such a show earlier tonite calling me to ask about DD's cough,,should we take her to the dr, he was headed home EARLY to get her. What a load of [email]Cr@p[/email], he was headed home to get ready for his trip!

Oh and FIL told me Drac had OW at FIL's house this weekend. FIL came home and OW SNUCK OUT the door!!!!

Are they in high school?


I did not leave PBL at FIL's house as I wanted to give to Drac in person. Now I am wishing I would have!