my husband and i have been happily married for 9 years then 6 months ago he told me he ran into an old girlfriend (they dated when they where 13 and 15) and they started talking and feeling got stirred. the woman is married with 4 children. within two weeks he bought a sports car got, his ear pierced and bought expensive jewelry. he never came home late he started to do that and then not coming home at all. then finally we got into a fight with me saying that when he comes home it is for him to get sleep from where he had been running around all night. with in a month he moved out and started seeing more of this woman. that is right after he bought her an engagement ring( yeah imagine my shock when i opened the credit card statement) we have never have discuss divorce or separtion prior to any of this. all of our family is in shock including his. since his dad just had done this to his mom 3 years ago after 35 years being married. i have to admitt i still cant. will needless to say we talk civil to one another yet me and our daughter moved out of the house where we were(i couldnt afford it on my salary)he cosigned for us a house a mile away.my daughter has had a really hard time dealing with this she has went from a daddy's girl to once a week visit which she stays angry. she didnt want to step foot in the house where we use to live. she cant stand the woman. all thru these months he has been telling me he loves us both. how could that be? this is my high school sweetheart. we have everything in common. same hobbies.yet this woman in which he is with is a smoker( which he isnt) drinks( he dont) and very jealous of me. and it is like he is another person when he is with her. i feel that he just wants me as is safety net. but how could this be i never known him to be like this. i have know him for 18 years. he just told me last week that he is knows now that he is in love with me but for some reason he cant let go of her. i told him he could tell that if he wanted but actions speak louder than words. and we wouldnt be living in different houses. am i going crazy for loving him one minute and hating him the next? i feel like i am stuck in the mud and i cant get out of this feeling.

Expose to OWH.

Where is he living?

In your home?

W/ OW?

~ Marsh

he knows. i dont know if he is a wimp and cant stand up to her or it is some kind of money scheme you hear about that sorta of thing all of the time.

YIKES!!!! Who has the 4 kids?

the other woman. 18,15,13 and 8.
our daughter will be 16 in a month

for some reason i didnt see what i had typed before. he moved into the house we have been living in( it is in his mothers name she had got it in her divorce) the day i moved out and she came there and too!

Is your WH living in your marital home?

Or he he living w/ her?

~ Marsh

he is living in our house with her. i bought another house. i couldnt stand to be in the house any longer it was filled sadness. besides i couldnt afford the house payment by myself on my salary. he had paid the payment from august till november when i moved.

Why did you move out of the house?

~ Marsh

So the 4 kids, OW and your husband are living in the home?

i could afford it. it was a big house payment. we had just moved there 6 months prior we was going to get the house in our name. thank god we didnt do it right away other wise i would be stuck with the payment as well. the house was our dream home. we loved it. but since the affair took place it just put sadness in it i couldnt bear to live there anymore.

yep!!! well at least one of her kids the others are with their dad and she gets up early and drives about 20-25 miles to send them off to school in the morning then comes back to my husband.

I suggest you start in Plan A. Be sure to read all about it. Then go out and buy some popcorn and wait for the affair to end. This one is never going to last!!!!!

i know deep in my heart that it wont be i just dont see any signs of him letting her go. i had been looking in the ads and i just mentioned that there was a cute gold ring that i liked. the next day he gave me the money to go get it. we talk every day. should i stop and make him see what he is missing? i dont want to fight anymore with her. she is so cocky when it comes to my husband. his family dont like her either so me and his sister has been really try to think of something to things started up between them. but i dont want it to break things further apart with us. i mean it been 6 months later and we still havent discuss anything about divorce. am i crazy for holding on to something that might never happen?

No, you are not crazy. The affair is merely a fantasy for him. He'll come out of it. With the tatoo and sports car, it sounds like a mid-life crisis.

I would ask him to put it in writing that the home you bought is yours separately. Also is he paying child support?

Let your daughter know that you have a plan, so that she won't worry too much.

actually when we was signing all of these papers with the house i had typed something up with that on it and just stuck in with papers he signed then had the paper notarized. yes he is very good about give both of us money. if he has it he will give us his last dollar.
our daughter goes from hating him to loving him. this has been really hard on her. she loves her dad but hates what he did. she is really just started talking to him the past month or so. before she wouldnt talk to him at all.

Take it to an attorney and make sure it is legal.

Would he consider going to "family counseling" to help your daughter?

i mentioned counseling when this first came about and he didnt want to go. i myself go the a therapist twice a month because it had me too upset to do anything including eating and sleeping. i still have trouble sleeping.

Are you on ADs?

They have really helped alot of people in your situation.

~ Marsh