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I think I do need to step up the admiration a bit on my part. ILL, Admiration does seem to be a hard one for most people to get the hang of, and judging from this board it seems to be a very important one for men (and Melody). I wonder why it is so hard to say a few kind words to show someone how much you admire them. Or leave a few notes every now and then, here and there. Everybody probably thinks it about their hubby and then just forgets to say or show it.
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I wonder why it is so hard to say a few kind words to show someone how much you admire them. Or leave a few notes every now and then, here and there.
Everybody probably thinks it about their hubby and then just forgets to say or show it. Well, sometimes it is hard to get through the "mad" enough to find things to admire. But H has done a lot that is admirable lately. Been of huge help to my FOO. Drove 5 hours each way -- sons in tow-- for a single day to be of support on a critical day when I was away helping our daughter. Calls the hospital to find out how mom is doing. Has taken the lead with talking to our boys about what to expect with my mother. And yesterday, he got stuck in 2 traffic jams while on work stuff. Called me both times from the traffic. I really appreciated that!
Chrysalis
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1A. Honesty & Openness
1B. Admiration
2. Recreational Companionship
3. Financial Support cheater !!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Pep Due to Mimi's honesty about FS, I've reconsidered my cheating ways. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> My new list: 1) Honesty and Openness 2) Financial Support (without which there would be no RC, let alone many other things I like to do/have/spend/) 3) Admiration Whew. I feel better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~Benjamin Franklin~
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Spoon I love your tag line
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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My 4 through 6 EN's are:
4. Big screen TV 5. Beer 6. Universal Remotes
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Honesty and Openness
Domestic Support
Admiration
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Pep, Thanks for your reply. Would you see a doctor who was dishonest with you? Possibly. It's very possible that in this situation, I might SUSPECT that the doctor was being dishonest with me, but have no way to prove it. why would you date/marry someone you knew was dishonest? Because he told me that he could and would correct this behavior and I wanted to believe he could and would. why would you date/marry someone you knew was dishonest? The first time that I discovered he had been dishonest with me was right after we decided to move in together, but before we actually had. When he gave his explanation, he seemed so broken up about it and vulnerable that I wanted to protect him. I didn't want to abandon him. As the relationship progressed, there was much more at stake and I was afraid of coping with the loss and afraid of how my life would change (the unknown).
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Affection
Sexual Fulfillment
Openness and Honesty
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I might SUSPECT that the doctor was being dishonest with me, but have no way to prove it. 2 questions: 1. why would you (do you) distrust your instincts? now, imagine you have the same suspicion that your children's doctor MIGHT HAVE BEEN dishonest with you (you have no proof) 2. ... do you continue to take your kids there? Pep
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[color:"red"]Froz [/color]
I told you Honesty & openness is my #1 priority EN
this is how seriously I take it
there was a WH poster here who became a FWH I liked him we had good forum discussions I encouraged him I heaped praise upon him I thought of him as a leader for other FWH
come to find out he'd broken NC lied to his W and to us while accepting the praise from us his W discovered there had been contact then, he came to the board and confessed/apologized to us all
I stopped posting to him he was upset his wife was upset
not my problem I decided that it was not in MY BEST INTEREST to continue to post to him
very few on MB understood my position I'm certain I was thought to be cold, uncaring, unforgiving, whatever
I wished them both well in their future together but, I was done allowing myself to be involved/interested/vested with their recovery
I cannot (will not) get involved with forum members that I discover are capable of lying to me (& others)
I am not talking about the self-fooling ones who are still so delusional or freshly wounded they can't tell their [censored] from their elbow
I am talking about rational thinking dishonesty
I am not saying others should be like me frankly, I hope someone else makes the effort to reach out but it will not be me reaching
because I know what is important to me and what is not
and unfortunately, your H has also crashed himself up against this rather hefty boundary of mine
so, enforcing MY personal boundary here ~~~> I am willing ready able to discuss ideas and concepts with you
I will NOT be giving you any advice on how to deal with your marriage
is this satisfactory?
Pep
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It is perfectly acceptable.
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My 3, and I don't know if they are listed with the Harley's titles, but are exactly what I crave:
1. Frequent and in-depth intellectual discussion regarding an extremely wide variety of political, scientific, metacognitive, religious, and other topics of import 2. Sexual fulfillment 3. Honesty and openness
I realize I am not normal. I just get bored so easily with TV and small talk.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support. Recovered. Happy. Most recent D-day Fall 2005 Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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It is perfectly acceptable. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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1. Frequent and in-depth intellectual discussion regarding an extremely wide variety of political, scientific, metacognitive, religious, and other topics of import ... I realize I am not normal. I just get bored so easily with TV and small talk. SB, I am stealing this. Thanks.
Chrysalis
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1. Frequent and in-depth intellectual discussion regarding an extremely wide variety of political, scientific, metacognitive, religious, and other topics of import ... I realize I am not normal. I just get bored so easily with TV and small talk. SB, I am stealing this. Thanks. she may have a copyright on that ... being the brat <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> that she is
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1. Frequent and in-depth intellectual discussion regarding an extremely wide variety of political, scientific, metacognitive, religious, and other topics of import ... I realize I am not normal. I just get bored so easily with TV and small talk. SB, I am stealing this. Thanks. she may have a copyright on that ... being the brat <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> that she is I am claiming "fair use." Stuff this good belongs in the public domain, anyway.
Chrysalis
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EA Internet DD 2/06, 11/06 PA DD 3/20/07 started in 10/06 WW seperated 2/6/07 plan B 4/16/07 Divorced 7/09/07
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My top 3 emotional needs are
1. Affection
2. Sexual Fulfillment
3. Companionship
Sh01
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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How do you people all manage to choose among them?
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33 2 kids DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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