ILL,

Admiration does seem to be a hard one for most people to get the hang of, and judging from this board it seems to be a very important one for men (and Melody).

I wonder why it is so hard to say a few kind words to show someone how much you admire them. Or leave a few notes every now and then, here and there.

Everybody probably thinks it about their hubby and then just forgets to say or show it.

Well, sometimes it is hard to get through the "mad" enough to find things to admire.

But H has done a lot that is admirable lately. Been of huge help to my FOO. Drove 5 hours each way -- sons in tow-- for a single day to be of support on a critical day when I was away helping our daughter. Calls the hospital to find out how mom is doing. Has taken the lead with talking to our boys about what to expect with my mother.

And yesterday, he got stuck in 2 traffic jams while on work stuff. Called me both times from the traffic. I really appreciated that!

Due to Mimi's honesty about FS, I've reconsidered my cheating ways. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

My new list:

1) Honesty and Openness

2) Financial Support (without which there would be no RC, let alone many other things I like to do/have/spend/)

3) Admiration

Whew. I feel better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Spoon
I love your tag line

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

My 4 through 6 EN's are:

4. Big screen TV
5. Beer
6. Universal Remotes

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Honesty and Openness

Domestic Support

Admiration

Pep,

Thanks for your reply.


Possibly. It's very possible that in this situation, I might SUSPECT that the doctor was being dishonest with me, but have no way to prove it.




Because he told me that he could and would correct this behavior and I wanted to believe he could and would.



The first time that I discovered he had been dishonest with me was right after we decided to move in together, but before we actually had.

When he gave his explanation, he seemed so broken up about it and vulnerable that I wanted to protect him. I didn't want to abandon him.

As the relationship progressed, there was much more at stake and I was afraid of coping with the loss and afraid of how my life would change (the unknown).

Affection

Sexual Fulfillment

Openness and Honesty

2 questions:

1. why would you (do you) distrust your instincts?

now, imagine you have the same suspicion that your children's doctor MIGHT HAVE BEEN dishonest with you
(you have no proof)

2. ... do you continue to take your kids there?

Pep

[color:"red"]Froz [/color]

I told you Honesty & openness is my #1 priority EN

this is how seriously I take it

there was a WH poster here
who became a FWH
I liked him
we had good forum discussions
I encouraged him
I heaped praise upon him
I thought of him as a leader for other FWH

come to find out
he'd broken NC
lied to his W and to us while accepting the praise from us
his W discovered there had been contact
then, he came to the board and confessed/apologized to us all

I stopped posting to him
he was upset
his wife was upset

not my problem
I decided that it was not in MY BEST INTEREST to continue to post to him

very few on MB understood my position
I'm certain I was thought to be cold, uncaring, unforgiving, whatever

I wished them both well in their future together
but, I was done allowing myself to be involved/interested/vested with their recovery

I cannot (will not) get involved with forum members that I discover are capable of lying to me (& others)

I am not talking about the self-fooling ones who are still so delusional or freshly wounded they can't tell their [censored] from their elbow

I am talking about rational thinking dishonesty

I am not saying others should be like me
frankly, I hope someone else makes the effort to reach out
but it will not be me reaching

because I know what is important to me and what is not

and
unfortunately, your H has also crashed himself up against this rather hefty boundary of mine

so, enforcing MY personal boundary here ~~~> I am willing ready able to discuss ideas and concepts with you

I will NOT be giving you any advice on how to deal with your marriage


is this satisfactory?

Pep

It is perfectly acceptable.

My 3, and I don't know if they are listed with the Harley's titles, but are exactly what I crave:

1. Frequent and in-depth intellectual discussion regarding an extremely wide variety of political, scientific, metacognitive, religious, and other topics of import
2. Sexual fulfillment
3. Honesty and openness


I realize I am not normal. I just get bored so easily with TV and small talk.

SB

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SB,

I am stealing this.
Thanks.

she may have a copyright on that ... being the brat <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> that she is

I am claiming "fair use." Stuff this good belongs in the public domain, anyway.

Honest
Admeration
Sex
rec

My top 3 emotional needs are

1. Affection

2. Sexual Fulfillment

3. Companionship

Sh01

How do you people all manage to choose among them?

close my eyes and type