I don't post much anymore, but promised myself I would stop by from time to time. My H and I have been in recovery for almost 7 years. I like to keep attached to MB because I have learned valuable information that has improved my marriage, and I never want to forget where we came form. I also want to be a source of inspiration.

Our recovery is complete. You make a choice after a period of time to stay and make it work or to leave. Most people are content with their decision, even if they had no choice, within two years.

I can only speak for us, but I have to say that the memory of the affair is only history now. It changed our marriage forever, but it is a great marriage. We have become more loving, more successful and our children are thriving. We have learned to keep the flame alive and spend time as a couple. We have learned to give and take.

I have to say the one great lesson I have learned is that love is a gift that I can give. Forgiveness is possible, and life can be beautiful again. You know what they say, if life gives you lemons, make lemonaide. I cannot tell you how sweet it is now. The affair was a bump on a long road.

So no matter where your road leads you, take this as a personal growth experience. Happiness is again around the corner. Patience and time. Make no quick decisions-all you have is time. Take 6 months to digest what is happening. Read, read, read.

Best wishes and hello to all...Jersey Girl

Amen, new jersey! Good to see you and glad you are doing well. We have been in recovery almost the same time, and indeed, life can be beautiful again. I am forever grateful I found this forum or I know I wouldn't have what I have today.

Best wishes to you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Melody. It is so true. I believe that following Dr H's books saved my marriage. Knowing what was happening, what the next stage was, etc. helped me be cool when I needed to and helped me be strong when I had to.

I think one of the lessons is also that any relationship, new or old can be vulnerable. It is important to keep your marriage alive and these principles are very helpful. Hugs to you and all. Life is beautiful again.

That's so true for me, too, NJ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> MB was a huge factor in helping my H and I create a great relationship. It gave us the tools we needed to get into recovery. Before MB we were doing our best to completely screw our marriage up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> But, out of the ashes...

Thank you for sharing your recovery story! This type of post helps to bring hope to this board. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Lori

Thank you too! I just want the new folks to know that it is possible to successfully recover after an affair. Hello to all!