Last year I had a round with the w I emotional cheating. really bad to!
LOVE letters ,PRIVATE meetings at his house,personal Gifts.She said no physical contact etc. (but can't believe that- any way-) Mostly from her to him. I came here & got some REALLY GREAT help.
NOW I need some more help.
#1 We subscribed to a BOOK to read , she said it made her sound like a bad person and would not read it together any more.
#2 I always ask on new years day what was best & worst last year. she said that the fun we had at home was fun.BUT get this, THE bad last year , WAS being accused of cheating.
so I guess the w still don't get it , Or for sure Does Not Own Up to it
#3 . Now all of a sudden when the w goes some where I better Not ask any questions. there will be hard feelings . I think she thinks I am spying or don't trust her ( I really haven't got the trust thing going yet)
PLEASE read this & give me some direction as 1 year will roll around soon
Thanks all

Well, it sure sounds to me you not only should be asking questions, but might oughta FOLLOW her or have her tailed by a P.I. People who have nothing to hide, don't hide. And she is hiding something.


She should think you don't trust her, YOU DON'T!! When she says "you don't trust me!!!" Just agree with her. Tell her, OF COURSE, you don't trust her and ask what she is willing to do GAIN your trust.

Explain to her about both emotional and physical affairs being equally destructive to the M.

She obviously had an A. Why does she deny that. I wonder how she would have felt if you were writing love letters and having secret meetings with a female. Would she consider this behavior an A. Or is it because she did it and was caught the rules have to change so that she isn't the bad person she proclaims she's not. Well, she may not be a bad person but she sure did bad things. She needs to own them.

You need to get into MC so that a pro marriage counselor can get her to own up to these feelings and you two can communicate better. She is still wayward as far as I am concerned if she doesn't own her actions and has no interest in helping you feel safe they will not happen again.

You should stick to your boundaries about her whereabouts, passwords, email accounts, cell phone records etc. Don't care if she likes it only that she's transparent. Oh and by the way YOU SHOULD NOT TRUST HER AND ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO DO SO. SHE HASN'T EARNED YOUR TRUST YET.

Marriage Counseling ASAP!!! Try the Harley's if possible as they specialize in Affairs and Reconcilations after A's.

Stand tall and be counted without LB, DJ ing and such but be counted and have boundaries.

sometimes it just makes a person wonder if it is worth all the bother.
Might be better & certainly easier to just to say the heck with it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />