i am trying to do my best with this situation. it has really taken alot out on me. but most of all am the adult i will make it thru it some how my daughter is different i have to try to protect her as much as i can. the OW dont have any reguards about her kids feelings other wise she would rushed them in a house with my husband. i cant feel sorry and think i should back off quietly to compensate for what she did. i am still willing to fight for my marriage but now i am using mindful tacts instead of arguing all the time. which now they do (i am loving it!!)
my daughter and i are thinking about going to an indoor waterpark next weekend do think it would be wrong to ask my husband if he wants to go with us? i think if we can have some time with us as a family unit again he will really see what he is missing. and what he has with her is nothing to compare. i mean the worst he can say is no
any body with opinions about it?

Yes, invite him. Often they don't want to do anything with their REAL family. If he doesn't go, you and daughter go, and try to take pictures. If he stays home, a thought will be placed in his mind of all the fun he is missing while he sits home and argues with OW.

thanks i will.
no matter what we are going. he already made the comment to me that he will probably never be able to go on vacation anymore. i asked him why and he said because how can i go with 4 kids not only that but you did everything every detail we always had fun you made sure of the activities and it was easy to enjoy the vacation. with her i dont see it like that. (why again is he with her?) she dont do things like you do.
i said well there is a easy fix to that and you know what that is.
no comment was made after that he switched the subject.

I would just continue merrily along, and let him lie in the bed he made. It will never work out for the adulterors.

He sure has made a huge mess for himself. For one thing, the house he is living in will be forever stained. I feel for OW's kids too. What a trainwreck waiting to happen.

WONDERFUL JOB!

I have to say that I didn't even realize this was the house you used to live in. Oh, how sad and awkaward for you and your daughter. You are a great mom. Keep up the good work.


MEDC

anotheer update:
during the weekend my daughter told me some thing that i thought i was going to have to go over to my husbands house and beat the crap out of the OW. i guess when my daughter went over there this past week the OW showed my daughter a new tattoo that she got. my daughter said that at first she thought she was going to show her butt but it was on her lower back. it was MY HUSBANDS NAME tattooed on her. How could this woman to that? she is still married and so is he. then for her to show my daughter that. that is her dads name and it was not on her moms body. i havent said or done anything yet but i feel like i am about to explode!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a ding-bat! She is going to feel like an idiot when they eventually go their separate ways and she is branded for life.

Maybe she is worried she'll forget his name otherwise.

If the trend continues she may need some skin extensions.

Fortunately the aging process will be all too happy to accomodate that need.

Tattoos. I just don't get them.

i think she did it as more to get to me. she knew if she showed my daughter that it would get back to me. which it did. also she wrote her cell phone number down on a card and gave it to my daughter and told her she could call her anytime. i have the card thinking about sending back in the mail with a nasty note attached to it. and of course signing it MRS_____
she will really be po
i just have to do it to where my husband and i are not fighting about it because i know she will show it to him. crying and wanting pity showed on her....

It just shows how desperate the OW is. She wants to legitimize their relationship. She really is starting to sound like a nut case. Where did your husband meet her?

Don't bother to respond to her. She will just use it against you and make you out to be some crazy person.

Even if that marriage lasts 10 years the chances of it lasting a lifetime are miniscule. No matter what it will be ruled by lies and dysfunction, you can't build a home on quicksand and that is what they have laid down as their foundation.

They are just two people who live by the way they feel at the moment and blow any which way the wind takes them. Just like she got him is how she will eventually lose him.

they use to go out when they were 13 and 15. she moved away. no contact he said he maybe had ran into her once or twice in public and spoke and said hi other then that nothing. then the end of june her uncle had passed away and he use to work for my husband and his place of business couple of years prior. then he told they spoke there(he told me when he came back from the funeral never thought nothing about it) well i guess the following days after that she called everyone she knew to try to get his number. even called our house(i didnt know it at the time) finally got him at his work and kept calling him ever since. within a few weeks that when my world started falling apart. one of the times we spoke to one another(me and the OW) she told me that knew my husband for 20 years and always loved him. in which i corrected her and said no you knew him twenty years ago and when you were that young that is puppy love. beside they only went together for about 6 months !!!!!!!!

I'd very dryly and unemotionally tell your husband that his daughter is at risk right now; that OW is on the attack living it up in your daughter's former home, showing off her sleezy body parts and your daughter needs a father to protect her from such sleeze.

Sniff at his clothes and tell him he has a stench about him - what's he been into? To please clean up before his daughter comes around him.

Don't talk to the OW. The more you even notice her, the longer the affair will continue. That is a mistake I made. You need to stay completely out of it, and let them figure out things to fight about.

i know i need to ingore it but sometimes i figure if i do that it will last longer. i was thinking about sending back her telephone on a copy of our marriage license. you think that would get her ticked off? i just so boiling mad right now!!!!!!!!

i have to tell my husband about our daughter not being able to go over there anymore. i am sure that is going to be a fight and she will eat that up. she loves when we fight because she feels that drives a wedge between me and him and she work on him more. any suggestions on how i should tell him where it dont end up in a fight. i know i will have to keep my mouth shut about the tattoo i hope i can do it!!!!!!!!!
i guess i just get tired of her winning these small battles but i hope in the end i can win the WAR!!!!!

Do you really have to tell him..

or can you for a while...just say...

oooh that won't work she's going here and there...better for you to come here or there....

can't make it then she has plans....but what about coming here after..

etc etc

what are your creative options that are rational and just make things a little more difficult through no one error..

ARK

also is he financially support HER children....

I would go after full child support TODAY via seperation

ARK

i just had it out with him and the OW today.
big time blow out with them both. MY DW had OW drop my daughter oof at my house!!!
hellp!!!!!!!!!!1

get an attorney
do not delay