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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165 |
it's only been 2 weeks since d-day. (3+ weeks since the a ended) my fwh is having trouble looking at me, kissing me, etc. he says he feels numb. what have yall been able to do to help your ws get over it? (and i don't mean to sound that casual, but i can't think of a better way to word it) i have been showering him with affection, telling him i love him and forgive him. also i initiate sex every night - sometimes he will, sometimes he won't.
the a is definitely over. it only lasted a week. he says he has no feelings for her and it was just sex. i feel i know what led him to have the a (lack of sf) and am working to correct that.
am i on the right track?
sorry if this doesn't make sense, i'm trying to feed my 1 year old dd.
tia
ashley
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
If there is no contact for sure, he is probably in withdrawal, which doesn't last long.
Continue doing what you are doing. He should come out of it soon.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165 |
thanks...he claims he doesn't miss her at all, but hopefully you are right and he will be back to his old self soon.
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Oooopppps. I just read your first post, that there is still contact at work. Don't expect things to get back to normal until he finds another job.
Also, you need to expose the affair to the other woman's husband.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165 |
i want to expose it to her husband, but my husband says it's between them (the ow and the owh).
i think i'll give her another week to tell her husband before i threaten to do it myself.
thanks for the advice.
ashley
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928 |
i want to expose it to her husband, but my husband says it's between them (the ow and the owh).
i think i'll give her another week to tell her husband before i threaten to do it myself. NEVER threaten to expose... JUST DO IT!Threatening to expose her just gives her time to spin a yarn to her BH about some crazy woman is falsely accusing me of sleeping with her H.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Yep, it is better just to do it. And actually your husband is wrong. It WAS between OW and her husband until your husband inserted himself in the marriage. Now it isn't any more. Her husband deserves to know the truth of his life and marriage.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025 |
Never threaten...Just do it.
Don't even bother giving your WH in withdrawal the opportunity to try to talk you out of it either.
Just do it.
Maybe you'll get lucky and SHE will quit or her husband will get her to quit or she'll get fired.
Further, you said Lack of Sex was the reason your husband cheated. You've got some of your own reading and individual recovery work to do here. Lack of SF may have been an marital issue but your husbands choice to have sex with a co-worker is NOT your fault and demonstrates there is much more wrong with him than just not gettin' nookie at home.
Read and learn.
Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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