Hello,

I've been reading and learning and thankful my H and I are in recovery. But the Infidelity Diet post caught my eye because I believe one's health and weight directly affects one's self image, which, in turn affects all of one's relationships, specifically his/her marriage.

I noticed that most of the Infidelity Diet posters are men who "stress fast" and very few women who "stress eat" like me. I am thinking about developing what I've called The Liar and Cheater's Diet in honor of my FWH. He was a liar and cheater and I almost died.

Four years ago when I was quite hefty, he stopped an online friendship before it became an affair. When I began getting healthy and lost 50 pounds by eating smart and working out, he had an online affair. (He told me about both last summer 06 and we began MC and found MB in the fall.)

Neither of us knew about or were meeting each other's ENs and I saw a post that said "Emotional Needs know no scales" or something like that. I took that to mean that even slim healthy people need EN met to be happy.

After I regained 15 of the 50 pounds I lost pre EA, I decided to try something new: I "lie and cheat" my own senses and stomach. For instance, when a tub of pastries sits on the break room table, instead of sneaking a bear claw to my desk, I wiff the lid back and forth a couple times and that's all I need to get control. (I 'lie' to my taste buds via my nose and 'cheat' my stomach out of 500 dead calories!)

I'm wondering if other 'hefty' betrayed wives (or husbands in denial) who tend to eat when stressed might have some input for this Liar & Cheater's Diet.

Welcome to marriagebuilders.

I went on the infidelity diet and lost 30 pounds in 3 months. It was not the way to lose weight. Everyone told me I looked awful.

I have gained back 30 pounds, and then went on a diet at work, losing weight slowly, and am just about right - 5'7" and 130. I hope to eat healthily from here on out.

I liked your idea of smelling the food. I work in contracting and companies are always bringing us food at work, and none of it is healthy.

I rarely stress-eat - I tend to go the other way - but I can tell you the best and healthiest way to lose weight and maintain it that I've ever found:

1) Cut out sugar in any form. Substitute artifical sweeteners like Splenda instead.

2) Cut out white flour. Always use whole wheat flour instead.

3) Cut out or severely restrict alcohol and caffeine.

Sugar, white flour, alcohol and caffeine are all huge appetite stimulants - especially the first two. The more you eat of them, the more you want.

Cutting this stuff out gives you blessed relief from the cravings that torture you all day long. And you will NOT be hungry because this still leaves you plenty of very good quality food to eat.

Try it. I don't think you'll find a doctor in the world who will tell you need more sugar, white flour, alcohol and caffeine.

It's not the fat in foods that's killing everyone and causing the obesity. Some cultures eat very high-fat diets and do not suffer from obesity - but they're not eating refined sugar and flour like we do.

Cut out the sugar and the white flour and see what a huge difference it makes.
Mulan

Great Ideas....thanks.

Splenda 'lies' as if it is actually sugar. You can 'cheat' your habit of cravings by choosing NOT to eat white sugar and white flour.

Caffiene and Alcohol add stress and kill brain cells while media ads 'lie' that they make you sexier and more attractive.

So Believer, what major changes did you do to lose 30 pounds slowly at work?

Oh, it is just a group diet. This is the second installation of 12 weeks. It includes exercising an hour a day, and eating lots of fruit and vegetables, and less fat, protein and carbs.

The best part is that there are 32 teams of 4 people. We have weigh-ins every two weeks. So it is like a team effort too, and we all encourage each other. I'm our team leader, and the funny thing is that the other 3 members are active duty Navy - so they were in good shape to start with. The winning team gets a day off, so we are MOTIVATED.

So do you work out with your group of 4 or individually? I see how this concept could really be a win/win for 4 BS needing motivation getting off the couch and sharing time, talking and treadmilling with others needing the same thing.

Do you have some sort of discussion during/before/after weighing in?