Post deleted by HadBetterDays

You have helped April all that you can. You have given her the tools she needs to save the marriage and the rest is going to be up to her and her WS.

I think it's time for you to step back from the situation because you are getting sucked in way too deep. I know your intentions are pure but you are putting yourself in a place where you could potentially start an EA because April is very vunerable.

The best thing you can do for her is tell her that you have given her all the help you can give her and the rest is up to her. Tell her that she should at least lurk on MB because a lot of the situations are similair to what she is going through. If that fails she can always call Dr. H for one on one assistance.

As for you?

I repeat get out of the situation before you get in to deep and your wanting to be friend to her turns into something else entirely.

I think it would be a good idea to send him here if he is interested. He needs to get a better handle on how to handle things with his BS.

I hope that if this ever happens again that you will extend yourself even further than you did this time and either let the BW know what has happened or have your wife do it. The sooner an A is broken the better for all concerned.

For what you have done so far though with this couple, you seem to be pointing them in the right direction. The advice though should be directed to the FWH. Let your wife speak to her.

Good luck,

MEDC

"Plan A" changes in anyone are positive. Plan A isn't really about breaking up an affair, it's about improving oneself so that you are "attractive" even to a WS, and that "improvement" removes a lot of the rationalizations for an affair.

But the WS in this situation has no idea the depth of the pain and the far reaching consequences of his action. Add to that the fact that this is not his first foray into adultery, and he needs a lot of education or he is likely to have another affair whenever he decideds he "needs one."