I am notifying OMW of A and want to do so in a sensitive but no-nonsense manner. I am not looking to be friends or anything with OMW just get her the fact that an A did exist.

here's my e-mail: don't know if it's a good example or not, but this is what i did



Subject : Do you know who I am?

If not, you will soon. I am FWH wife. He works with your wife. I am so sorry to be the one to have to tell you this (and you may already know). But our spouses slept together. On 3 different occasions. It was between about January 7th and 15th. Once in OW car, and twice in my husbands car.
My husband confessed to me on January 21st and has said that nothing has happened since then. I believe him. He is very sorry and wants to work it out.

If you need to talk to me, you can call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. I also have text messages. Or you can e-mail me here.

I am so very sorry that this happened. Please do not physically harm my husband. We have a daughter together.

You and I may need to work together to ensure that these 2 stay apart. I've already told FWH that one of them has to quit after tax season.

Please do respond to my e-mail. This has been eating me inside for the past 2 weeks and I felt you needed to know.

BS

Gameface, FO showed you a very good email, but I would suggest that you ask her to stay in touch with you and encourage her to exchange notes if you go the email route. You want her as your ally in busting up the affair.

Personally, I prefer a phone call because it enables a discussion and it also ensures that the email doesn't get overlooked or hijacked by the OP.

Real short and to the point,


Mrs BW,

My name is ________________ and I am married to ___________. I have some disturbing news that I must share with you. My wife, ____________, is having an affair with your husband ______________. I have significant amounts of proof that I will be glad to share with you should you desire. I want badly to save my marriage and I am committed to doing so. I hope you feel the same. In order for either of us to be successful my wife and your husband have to end their affair and have no contact for life. Again, I am sorry that I come bringing this terrible news. As you can imagine my life has been torn apart since learning of this affair.

If you desire to contact my regarding details then please don't hesitate to call me at ______________.

God bless,

Gameface

OK thanks all. I really hadn't considered the strategic value of an alliance between myself and the OMW. I am guessing that she will be upset and do not want to fan anyone's flames. I actually do not have many details as I get too upset too fast to continue the discussions and am working on demonstrating to WW that she is safe sharing ANYTHING with me. WW hasn't volunteered much yet and I have been taking small doses.

So thanks for sharing, I think that I am OK on the sensitivity and will extend an offer to share information with the OMW.