I agree very much with Aphelion, rprynne, and I wondered why she told you this. Was this her first step in the recovery of your marriage? Or was it just a pitch to get you to divorce her because she is too cowardly to do that herself?

What is she doing, rprynne? Has she already gone back out on the road?

I will.

Anyway, she met with her boss the last two days and basically told them that if the work was going to keep her away from home more than a few days a month, she was going to have to resign. They told her they needed her to be their at least 3 days a week until a new person gets trained. She responded with yeah, but then it will be another person, then another, etc., so she told them she will be putting in her two weeks notice.

She is very upset about resigning and I wonder if she has not really made up her mind. I asked if she had and she said she had. I know she is sad about it, but I don't really know what to say. I feel like she wants me to say something like, we'll just do what they want and see if it really is just for a little while more. But I can't. I know she can get a better job here and I know she will be happier in the long run if she at least tries for us to work it out.

I confess that I am a complete wimp when my FWW starts crying. It takes all I have not to just cave in. I want her to make this change, but I don't want her to feel like she is making a sacrifice. If she does, I fear that she will resent me. I want her to feel like its a great opportunity to get to where she wants to be.

But I guess she is just taking a chance or making this move on faith.

You fear "resentment" but you don't fear losing your marriage to her career? How very odd. Do you really want to be married?

rprynne, it should not be a "sacrifice" for a married woman to live with her H, that should be an expectation. If she resents living as a married woman, then she shouldn't be married in the first place. You, on the other hand, have a greater likelihood of being "resentful" because your W has abandoned you and placed her career far above your best interests.

Even so, this is the best news I have ever heard from you. I hope she follows through. Because, honestly, rprynne, I think this is hopeless unless she lives with you and stops traveling. I would just let her know that you will do your best to make her happy.

I can really relate to this, but I think this is exactly where we need to let go. Her feelings are hers, and even though they impact our situation so much, they are her responsibility. I have the same drive to make my W feel better whenever she's crying, or upset. So much so that she gets annoyed with me when I don't solve her problems for her. Focus on your feelings and communicate them. Worry about your own potential for resentment and address that.

I hope you can stay positive and focus on the good that seems to be happening now.