i am sending a letter to the ows family...exposing the affair....i am quite sure they no nothing about it...
i am including my e-mail...should i give my address or phone #...or should i give out wh's contact info???
also i did a google search of ow...and found someone who could be a brother or cousin based on age...do you think i should send a letter to him as well???he is a local hs football coach and i have an e-mail addy???

Give them your information. Your WH will just tell them that you are mentally ill, jealous, or some lie.

Yes, anyone that you think would or could put pressure on her to leave your H alone, then expose to them.

thanks...i am so scared to do this...i know i should have done it months ago...i am unsure what to expect

EMAIL AND EXPOSE!

i did it! WH raged and raged and even went as far as saying he had consulted an attorney. blamed me for everything and i just refuted whatever he said that i was not responsible for his actions and this was the consequence of his adultery.

email add that you have to send the letter will be fine. say that you are willing to answer any questions they may have about your relationship to your WH. that way they know that you are serious AND telling the truth.

God bless you!

Also I am seeing my inlaws this weekend. I have not told them the details...STBXH has told them that he just does not want to be married anymore. That is bad enough for them....I guess tey have figured it out.

Anywany SIL invited me to her baby's first birthday...because she wants my kids there...but does not want her brother in her home...They have had arguements about him abandoning his family...

I want to inform them about OW..and her identity...but I hesitate to do it at a birthday party...and I think that I should tell MIL first but she does not have e-mail...and regular mail seems too formal...and I am uncomfortable calling for this purpose...does it seem to dramatic to give her a card and ask her to read it after the party???

I would just call them all up today and tell them. Give them the full facts about the affair and answer any questions.

If you don't think you can effectively convey what you want to say verbally or without getting all emotional or losing your thoughts then by all means write it down, spell it out, hold nothing back....explain some of the principles you have learned (do not name MB as your WH may try and find your thread later) concerning A's being like addictions. By all means put a face and name on the OW, the homewrecker. State you desire to save your M and family from the disaster of divorce. Talk about how M's can be saved and thrive after A's if both parties do their work.

Good luck.

I am so nervous this morning...I am going to a party at SIL's house...STBXH is unwelcome...His family does not approve of the way he has treated me and the boys...
I don't want to spoil the party so I will hold my tongue, or try to...However, I have pre-witten letters for my MIL and SILs...thanking them for their support and asking them to continue supporting me in fighting to save my marriage.

I also name the OW...and spell out the few details i have...she is single, 25 years old, and wrks with STBXH as an RN.

I will drop these letters in the mail on Monday morning along with the letter for OW's parents.

Have you contacted his work yet? It is best to get all your exposure done in one fell swoop.

I have not told anyone yet...Though they work together..and I believe that pretty much everyone at work knows...I am waiting till Monday because my kids and I will be out of the state for a while...and I don't want to be in the eye of this storm...

Telling OW's family
STBXH's family
Employer
Dean of Students at University (STBXH is a grad student/ OW may or may not be a student...not sure)

In all fairness to the innocent birthday child I do hope you wait to tell the IL's until the after the party is over. Taking the focus taken off of the child on his/her special day seem insensitive, at least to me.

no i am not going to say anything at the party...i cannot talk about this without tears...and don't want to spoil the day...

I just got home from a vist to my parents in fla...before I left I sent letters to OW's family, STBXH's family, their employer, and everyone I could think of at STBXH's grad school...including professors and the dean.

When he found out he was furious...said all kinds of hurtful things to me...that he never loved me...threatened me...said ow's family was reporting me to the police...

I cried...begged pleaded...said I would love him till thge day I died...He called his parents and mine and said I might kill myself...I spoke to them all and said that I was sad but not suicidal...

Told STBXH that I was praying for him...he got annoyed at that...

He said that he just wants to focus on mantaing a good relationship with the kids...He said that he lied for so long to protect me from pain...he said that he was not seeing OW anymore...but does not want to reconcile...

Yesterday I got a text from him LUV U sweetie...(Obviously meant for OW) I texted him back you are a creep...he insists that he meant it for our 7 year old son...

I don't know how to proceed now...that text though has me really upset...and wondering if i can ever reconcile with such a mean spirited creep.

If anyone has advice I am desperate.

but he's not seeing OW anymore.......(rolling eyes...what a LIAR!)

Hang in there. Stay calm and consistant. Stay away from him when he's hurting you. The pressure will be on him now.

Listen to NOTHING he says right now. He's furious about exposure, and is speaking in anger. He means nothing that he says.

((soccermom))

I wish I could say something useful... he is saying things that it seems all WS say at exposure. My WH was spiteful to me when I exposed to his bosses and mentioned it was also why he had left a previous job. I wish I would of added all the names I could think of at his work and expose to them. I didn't but I'm sure they had an idea something was going on.
You did the right thing.

Still

I wish I would have found MB sooner. When I found out about my FWH's A I was devastated yes, but also embarrased. I made my H tell his mom, but no one in my family knows about the A (live across the country) and I still haven't told a single friend. I didn't tell my employer even though I missed so much work (said I was sick, which really I was) until my co-worker found out about her H's A a week after I found out about my H's A. I would do things so differently now. I think it's great that you are standing up for yourself and being strong.

I am just not sure what to do next. My kids and I are moving this weekend...I left my job 2 years ago when STBXH got into a grad school in another state...He moved out and our savings are depleted...Fortunately, my employer will let me return to my old position...but now my kids have to change schools.

STBXH is angry that I am moving them away from him...but I have no other choice...I am hanging on for the next ten days when my parents get back from fla and I have some support...and I can try to put my life back together...

I find it very hard to do all the lovey dovey plan A stuff...so I wonder if I should just go dark???

Have you had any counceling with Steve Harley? Or Jennifer?

Even if you could just call into the radio show -- you could really use some direction from the pro's.

This move is a consequence of HIS actions, you can hardly change your plans based on HIS feelings. His feelings are awfully unreliable, aren't they?

how do you get counseling from steve harley???

soccermom,

look at the bottom of the page for counciling center I think you can get info there.

Still