I don't know what to do. I am so mad at my husband right now. I feel like I am more his mother than his wife. I work a full time job and go to school nights, twice a week. He also works a full time job--construction--which means that he works 6 days most weeks. When he works, he leaves here around 6:30 am and gets home around 7 at night, I really think it is 'fair' for me to do most of the housework, because I have a lot more free time than him. HOWEVER, I feel that it has gone beyond just the house work and that my husband expects me to wait on him hand and foot, and that he doesn't respect any of my needs at all. For example, he goes out with his friends a lot on the weekends. When I say, are you going out with them again, he says, well, you should make your own friends and go out with them, I spend every day with you. He has this friend that, in my opinin, is very immature, and some weeks, either he is here or my husband is at his house four or 5 days out of the week and my husband thinks I am being jealous when I say he needs to make some boundaries with this friend, so we can have our own time together. Then, when my husband does go with this friend, he usually comes home when I am sleeping, and he'll turn on the light in the bedroom, turn the tv on loud and completely disregard the fact that someone in the house is sleeping. Then in the morning, he asks me, where are my socks, where are my shoes, etc. Well, I'm trying to get ready to go to MY job, but if I don't jump up and get them, he starts acting like a big baby. If I say anything about me having to get ready, he gets mad. Are we not both adults??? Do I need to get him dressed in the morning? Then, the nights I have school, I don't get home until around 10, so all I want to do is get a shower and get to bed, but he always wants me to cook for him, or to wash that day's clothes, or something. If I say, sorry, I'm tired, I'm going to bed, it turns into a big ordeal where he pouts and acts like I don't love him. Then, he is a different culture than me, and he constantly is saying, girls of my culture love to cook for their husbands, they love to clean, they would never tell me to find my own clean t-shirt in the morning. I get sooo frustrated. I love him but I feel more like his mother. I don't even want to have kids. I don't know if I could handle this and handle a baby, too. I already do everything, pay all bills, cook, clean, do the grocery shopping. I mean, I don't really mind doing this becuase I know he works a lot more, but on days when he's not working (because of the weather, most likely), he sits around in his underwear playing video games. If I say something about it, he says, well, I work 6 days a week, so this is my day to relax. What about me? I never seem to have a day to relax. Then, at night, he is a 'cuddly sleeper' and I am not. I need to have my own space to move around in. He KNOWS this and yet insists that we sleep intertwined, which means I can't even get comfortable until after he falls asleep, so I can scoot over and push him away. I've slept on the couch a few times which is uncomfortable, but more comfortable than being squished and claustraphobic all night long. If I mention it to him, he pouts and acts like I'm trying to hurt his feelings by not wanting to sleep like that. I like sleeping in the same bed, but not on top of each other. I accidentally elbowed him in the mouth the other night while I was sleeping, and it gave him a fat lip. I really do not remember doing that--he says his phone rang and I jumped, accidentally doing it...so obviously it was an accident, but he still rubs it in my face. I said to him, well, if you wouldn't smother me when I sleep, maybe it wouldn't have happened.
Anyway.
I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated. I feel like I don't get enough sleep and I don't have time to do anything, especially deal with this big baby. I called in sick to work today because I'm so stressed out, it's literally making me sick. After this weekend, the next three weeks are going to be horrendous for me. I have work during the week and classes three days in a row for the three weeks (I start a new class, and the old one ends three weeks into the new one) AND then I have more classes, this time through work, which I cannot get out of, saturdays and sundays. i dread just the thought of this because I know my husband is not going to help out around the house at all.
Please, if anyone has advice, I really need it. I feel like I am at the end of the rope. I know I could deal with the work/school stuff, if I wasn't also taking care of my baby of a husband. I just don't know what to do.
