My best female friend is divorced, lonely and bitter.
SHe is very attractive but getting older. She has to support herself with one income and just gets by.

She sees me married to a wealthy man and protected.
Whenever she sees him, she gets too touchy with him, hugging him all the time, and that made me upset. After a party where she was grabbing him all the time, even he asked me "what was that all about"?

So I smartly told her HE was uncomfortable with the PDA, and she stopped. However, she continues lavishing him with attention and praise (very exagerated) whenever she sees him.

She also shows immense interest in his business-I don't see her asking any other guys about their work and loves to talk to him one on one for long periods in parties, which upsets me.

She smiles at him provocatively as if she were competing with me. I sometimes see some signs of that movie "white single female" in her..

I don't want to mention to her any of that, or she will think I am a jealous freak. I will seem weak. I also don't want him to see I am jealous or his ego will be even bigger-he is already a successful man.

I don't want to lose her friendship because I don't have many close friends and husband is a workaholic, therefore I need her, but I have heard too many stories of "best friends" who steal your husband. She knows he is rich and I don't think she would reject him.

Any ideas on how can I handle this without exposing my jealousy and losing her friendship?
Thanks.

I suspect that you will likely have to choose between your M and your friend. However...

Guys tend to be very simple creatures. Either we're attracted, or we're not. Being attracted to someone over time doesn't happen very often.

So, with that in mind, here's a suggestion: talk to your H and find out his true opinion of your friend. Does he find her attractive? Does she meet any particular need of his (admiration, etc.). You also need to let him know that the attention your friend is giving to him is making you feel very uncomfortable, and ask him to do something about it.

Note: It's quite likely he might actually feel uncomfortable as you feel with all of the attention she's giving him. If so, he needs to "man up" and tell her as much, instead of leaving you to do the dirty work.

I think you need to choose a friend who wouldn't do this to you.(Definition of friend!:Someone who cares about YOU!) I am more jealous of my H's attentions now that we are in recovery, even his talking to my best friend in too friendly a manner bothers me.(Didn't bother me before his A) So, i keep them apart. I see her without him. Until i'm more secure i won't be putting problems in my path. My bestfriend doesn't flirt(she's also happily married), if she did she would no longer be my friend AT ALL!

Who needs a temptress as a friend. She is no friend to ANY WOMAN or Marriage. You need to tell her bluntly how her actions are making you and your H feel, and if she changes , great, if not, tell her to bug off. JMHO! One thing i've seen is that misery loves company. If your friend is divorced and bitter she may not stop til you are the same.??Think about it.....watch your back!!

A friend is someone who is a friend for YOU not to flirt or do things that will hurt you...

Be very careful with this one

She is not a friend. Why are you giving her this false honor by calling her one?
Dump her.

Get a new friend.

If you're a pleaser-type personality, drawing the line will be difficult.

If you're a strong confident person that can live with the fact that she may hate your personal guts until the end of time if you tell her to knock it off, then go for it.

IF you can't handle that stress, then get your H to help you.

But really, what's more important? Your R with your H? Or your friendship? If it's your friendship, well, not much more to say then...

Actually not saying anything to your friend about her behavior and ignoring it makes you seem weak. Both to your friend and to your husband. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and if her behavior is over the line (and it certainly sounds like it is to me), then it becomes very important for you to exert yourself in this situation. Your husband won't mind, he's already confided to you that her behavior is making even him uncomfortable. This woman is your friend and obviously your husband doesn't want to be the one to say something about her behavior to her. This is a logical position for him to take given that fact that you consider her to be your best friend.

You need to be very direct with your firend. Tell her to back off in no uncertain terms and tell her that if she continues with this behavior your firendship is off. If she's a true friend she'll back off and apologize. If she isn't your friend she'll get angry and defensive about this. If she does that you need to realize that she is no longer your friend and in actuality is out to get you. If that's the case this is not someone you want to have in your life regardless of how close the two of you have been in the past.

One of the hardest things we have to deal with in life is what to do when a formerly close friend turns toxic. One consolation in life that I have found to be the case is that these friends never have been as good a friend to you as you imagine. Examine dispassionately your relationship with this person, both in the past and today. You might be surprised that this person has always had this side to their personality and that your need for friendship is what has carried the relationship all along. If this isn't the case don't be afraid to reassess the relationship as it exists today and take active steps to protect you and your family from harm.