Yes, BC our lives are a country song now... I seem to relate almost every song I here on the radio to my situation... It only makes me feel worse sometimes. I think I'll switch to classical, since it doesn't have any lyrics...

I've been reading your thread for a while now. Your situation seems to almost parrallel mine... Hang in there brother, you can do it...

Good Morning! Dropping in to check on you...i'm doing good and it appears that you are too for the most part...

Cory- you're funny...no lyric music huh?

Well, I look forward to hearing from you! Take care, I hope you have planned yourself a good weekend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Jayban, Cory, and Rinder..

I also have stopped listening to country music since DDay. I turned back to rock after about 5 years. There's still some decent stuff coming out, although if I hear Black Parade one more time I'm going to blow up the radio tower. That's the one they play every third song.

Cory,

I have followed your thread alot too. It looks like things are getting better for you. I hope your WW takes to recovery. Mine is no where near that, but she did look me in the eyes yesterday for the first time in forever. Hopefully a good sign. I wish you the best of luck in recovery.

Rinder,

Stay strong. It looks like you have things worked out pretty good, now you just have to stick to your guns(maybe a bad choice of words, sorry).

I have the boy this weekend and not much money, so we'll probably play in the yard all weekend. I may splurge on some crawfish though. I havn't had any yet this season and it's getting the best of me.

Talk to yall later

I made it through another weekend. It started off rough, but continually got better and ended with a grand finally. I got a hug from WW this afternoon. I had to ask for it, along with some heavy flirting, but I got it and it felt great.

I was in some pain the first half of the weekend. Towards the end of last week I really started missing WW and after a let down encounter with her Thu I had some pain in the gut happening. Fri night was dead in the neighborhood and Sat everybody was gone all day so nothing to distract the pain. When son went down for afternoon nap I started calling people trying to get disctracted. Same thing, nobody answered their phones. After son woke up we went outside and nieghbors starting coming home. Then one shows up with a sack of crawfish and the party was on. We had a blast Sat night boiling crawfish and drinking beer. I even splurged on some cigars. So I got just the distraction I was looking for and pain went away.

Then today my parents and one of my nieces drove in for the day. Well this niece is my WW's godchild so I called WW to let her know who was coming. WW ended up spending the entire day at home and even stayed a few hours after everyone left. Once we were alone we ending up talking about us a little and I would say progress was made. Then later on we just had a very nice conversation about absolutely nothing. All in all it was an even mix of fog talk and rational talk from WW.

She is keeping up with expressing her need to be alone and how she is enjoying being seperated, but at the same time she is working in the landscaping and wishing our little trees would grow faster and has started refering to our house as our house again.

It is almost comical how she makes a fog comment and immediatley follows it with something just the opposite. She contradicts her self from one sentence to the next.

Oh yeah, she is definatley noticing Plan A because she actually told me it seems like I have been working on her. I told her all I am doing right now is working everyday to improve myself. She said well it sure seems like you are working on me. I'm thinking it is working on her, she notices. She is starting to smile at me and look me in the eyes again and I am starting to relax and laugh and joke and flirt with her and she doesn't realize what is going on. I AM FILLING HER LOVE BANK AGAIN. SWEET.

Things were going so well that I seized an oppertunity and asked for a hug right before she left. She needed a couple of stamps and I told her they weren't free. She asked what I wanted and I told her a hug. She said I don't want to hug you and you can't buy affection. I said well give me a hug because you want to then. She said how about one arm around the back. I went in and she gave me one arm around the back, but I gave her a full embrace and told her it felt great. She smiled and laughed at me.

Then we went to round up son so they could leave and we found him with [email]cr@p[/email] in his pants. So we got to have a family moment cleaning up son.

So I'm feeling good tonite even though she'll probably have a new line of defenses next time we talk. The biggest thing I've learned this week on this forum is to not have expectations. Enjoy the battles you win and learn from the ones you lose.

Take Care Everybody

Great job,
Now let's add to it a little.

When you talk to her again start repeating back a few things she says.

Your wife:" I had a hard day at work and I'm so beat tonight."

BC "Long day and your beat huh. Still problems with____... at work?"

Repeat back her words - she will feel like you are listening to her, which you are.

try it. When I first did it I felt like I was cheating on a test or something. Worked so well

That's a big lesson BC. Very true. You are correct, what goes up must come down, the rollercoaster rides always do.

I'd add the following to the "big list" of things I learned from the forums:
1. Don't have expectations from your WW. Plan A w/o Expectations.
2. Let go of your fear. What would you do if you weren't afraid?
3. Develop, establish and communicate your boundaries
4. ALL of the plans are more about YOU than HER.
5. You no longer have any control of anything that's wayward, unlike what you may have had prior to the A, so you might as well get over that as soon as freaking possible and "control" yourself. That seems to be a big one for BHs especially to deal with. (me included...)

Keep working on you and keep up the good work with your interactions with WW!

Just updating for a bump.

Nothing exciting going on. Spoke with WW last night for a few minutes. She didn't sound interested in talking which has been a pattern. When ever we have a moment, the next time I see her or speak to her she is shut back down.

I pretty much engage her when she is on and end the conversation quickly when she is off. Being polite in both instances.

I guess when you have a moment with a WS it really gets their head spinning for a few days. They feel like they have to re up their defenses because they don't want to think that what they are doing might not be right.

That's OK, I see the process moving along and I am grateful for it.

I get son back tonight so we'll be going out for pizza.

Other than that life is chugging along just like it always has.

Feels pretty good.

Later

Well, you sounds good...


LOL...Boy you said a mouth full right there! Exactly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

oKAY, IT'S KILLIN ME! So, we went to the same school...

Are we doing hints? Teachers? Anything? LMAO

Ok you're 32 so unless you were held back at some point you were a year ahead of me. I graduated from Tbonne in 93. I know a million people that graduated from HL between 91 and 95. Did you go to coteau the whole time or were you a late arrival. In 7th grade I had Mrs. Preston in the morning and Mrs. Moore(i think that was her name) in the afternoon. If you were a year ahead of me you had Mrs Preston and Mr Penn until he got fired for touching TE's boobies. You remember that? Big Scandal at Coteau!

I read before that you were 4'11" and I can't think of any short girls that lived on the HL side of Coteau. I also read somewhere that you used to cut an acre of land at you're house. If that was on coteau you probably either lived on the hwy or in Bayou Gardens.

That should drive you crazy for a while.

LOL

I remember the scandal but I was at Evergreen at the time...I know TE TOO!

I actually lived before Rembert trailer park, in the front...and I was at Coteau from 2nd to 6th... I left early b/c they needed the room...I was one of the "CHOOSEN" LOL

I graduated HL in 92'...and most of the time I dated a popular Italian guy...LOL...nickname Sambo...Rinder in not far off the mark from my name! LOL

COOL! LMAO

Well I didn't live far from you. I was by Coteau Baptist Church.

My older B dated TE at Coteau. At least the elementary school version of dating.

I couldn't be chosen because I was in the band. I wasn't a nerd though. I was also a Baseball player throught out High School and American Legion after.

I actaully remember more people from the year ahead of you because that was my B's class and all of his friends.

I still hang out with Shane T(91) from Bayou Blue every now and then. In HS the only person I stayed friends with was Heidi G(93) from Bayou Blue.

I still can't figure it out. I wasn't familiar with SAMBO, unless maybe I heard his real name.

Oh Well

OKay, I knew some OP in your area Johnny H, Jason R, Gabe C...all my year...oh, you must have known Leah L(92)...

I was a brownie! WooHoo! We walked from school to that Christain school right there...(4th)

I was in Mrs. Cambell's class (5th), Mrs. Lever's (6th), I didn't like her at ALL...

I had Mrs. Golf (3rd)...

Sammy Indo...Jr. high football and HS...At CBB, there was only three of us that scored 10 in chore...Me, Leah L, and Merlin L...I bombed the band test...LMAO...and I wanted to play too! LOL

I don't remember too many P under me...mostly my class...Oh, there's a pic of me in the MB Photo Album...

LOL...I'm not going to give you the link either...LOL

Tag your IT!

Easy does it you guys. If you figure out who each other are you will be opening pandoras box. I know both of you would like to crack it open, but I wouldn't recommend it. Please don't take any offense.

Thanks jim, I thought about it...not good timing...

don't need to set ourselves up for an EA...need to stay on the higher ground...

no offense taken...that's what friends are for! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Have a good night!

That's my neighborhood.

If you didn't know Johnny H got killed in a shipyard several years ago.

Jason R builds houses and lives in Bayou Blue in my B's neighborhood by St Louis Church.

Gabe went into the military, but hadn't heard about him since.

I hadn't heard anything about Leah since HS.

Your class in my area was also Melanie P and David G.

David moved to PA in HS and last I heard Melanie was still around Houma.

The people I knew in your area were Rusty L, Timmy A, Amy and Cody B, Dean B, Brant and Reid P and a whole slew more from Bayou Gardens. They are all a year in front or a year behind. Can't remember your class in that area. I also had a best friend in the earlier days that lived in Rembert and that was Jason B, he moved to Bourg around 4th grade.

Now I have to start searching for the MB photo album.

LOL

I FOUND YOU RINDER!!

But I don't recognize you. I guess I'd have to see a pic from your childhood. How do I not remember you. I thought I new everybody that went to Coteau. Is the name in your pic your real name, because I definately would have remembered that. My mom's name is very similar.

Since I know who you are I guess I should reveal myself. I don't know if real names are used on this forum.

I know:

My first name is a character in the Dukes of Hazzard, but spelled with an eau.

My last name is on the water tower down Dularge. That was my great, great, great grandpa's plantation in the old days.

My brother's name starts with a T and its strange.

Figure it out.

I'm going to bed.

Well, I don't know who you are either...still cool...

I also didn't know Johnny got killed...i saw Melanie not to long ago...she's doing well...

Leah Med, then Ded, then Med STBX and I's friend, then Ded, and is now Med again...she has a son from her 1st M...she was living in Gulfport until Katrina then moved back to here...

I knew Gabe went into the Military... and Jason was building Houses here...I see Andy from time to time...seems like he's doing well...and I remember the pitre's but didn't really talk to them...

4th grade was a bad year for me and at the end of it I moved in with my GPs on Maplewood...I lived with them in 5th, was in IC, same thing in 6th...

I got your name but don't remember you either...oh, well...last name was B***iot...first name...RinD*...not short for anything...

I perfer not to use my real name because it's so uncommon...don't need anyone doing a search and it showing up...I had a guy from college call me up one time...he knew so much information about me but didn't know I was Med...even knew we had just bought a new truck! It was scary...we changed our number to unlisted and took some other safety measures...he was calling from California too...

Anyway, I don't have a year book or anything so I'm out of that...I guess it's working out for the best that we really don't know each other pre se...

Like Jim said, I would have hated at this time in our lives to open that box...it's just nice to have someone familiar with the area...perhap if I saw a pic, I don't know...

OH, Rusty L's (from Maplewood) sister is Med to my uncle with two kids, boys...

I don't know too many OP with my maiden name...my mom's from Chauvin...Dom**gue...

LOL...I'm going to have to go look up that pic! LOL

Well, I'll talk to you later! Have a good day!

I didn't see Jim's post last night. When I replyed to one message it brought me to the next page and I missed 2 posts.

But yeah, I figured that would come from somebody and they're right. I was thinking that myself. We've read the books and we know how this stuff gets started.

So we can still support from a safe distance.

Back to anonymous

Cool!

Oh, I would like your advice or thoughts on my post on my thread since you just dealt with the whole car thing with your WW...

I like to be hands on when I can...like maybe with the spark plugs...I don't know...just your thougts...

I would appreciate it!

How are you today? And your son?