While in the psych hospital, a depressed/anxious person feels protected from his/her ~self~ .... they are usually frightened by their own feelings/thoughts ... not so much the situation they are in, but their internal demons.

~~~ and it feels S A F E to know an authority figure will not allow you to hurt yourself ... and you will be listened to

Pep

Thanks EP,

Right now I just want WW to get healthy. DS deserves a healthy and loving mother. This incident has taken a huge toll on our M. It's definately complicated things for me. I'm going to give it some time though.

Oh, she did want me to know that this incident had nothing to do with me. She also told me if she had been thinking about me and DS she wouldn't have done it. So that was good to hear. We're way to close to the incident to try and read into that, but it was still good to hear.

Thanks Again

Well, seems to me that things are going in a great direction for you and your son!

Good for YOU! And to think that you are going to get your vacation that you asked for!

GO BC! GO BC! Do the happy dance!

I hope that this is taking a good turn for you and your family...just do yourself a favor and keep watching your back fro the time being!

During her time of need...she called you. Those 5 minutes she was allotted, she GAVE to YOU. Be her rock.

Thanks Pep,

It helps to get insight from people that are familiar to the sitch. I am also honored to have the great Pepperband on my thread. You're sort of a celebrity around here.

You are master. I am grasshopper. LOL

I am waiting to see how WW looks after she leaves the hospital. I think they are giving her some sort of recovery plan. I won't know what my involvment will be until she is released.

Hoping for the best

Shaddup



no, really, shaddup


she will look tired
say very little ... "ummmmm" is OK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
give hugs and physical signs of support (nod head, hold hands, bring tea, give a foot rub)


with good reason

this will be beneficial .... once the wrinkles get ironed out

she may have NEW insight

((( hugs )))

Pep

Just got back from Houma.

DS is sleeping in his bed completely spoiled rotten after 5 days with mawmaw and pawpaw.

Have a good night

Doesn't that provide a great deal of comfort in itself? LOL

To see their little sleeping faces...and to know they are the part of reason that you are doing what you have too!

One way or another, you are doing wonderful and will be fine!

This is so true.

Thanks Rin and Rock

There is great comfort in knowing that Me and DS are going to be fine. I am in a strange place right now and the only life I can think of is me and DS. I am definately at the point where I need to protect what I have left for WW. She's inflicted so much damage in such a short period of time that I no longer have any romantic feelings for her. I miss her and care about her and I hurt for her, but I don't have any desire to touch her right now. I've been longing for her affection for so long and that went away this past weekend.

I need to give her a few more weeks of Plan A just because of her sitch. When she gets back from spring break I'll have a Plan B letter ready. I won't talk about R/M, but if she isn't ready to let me back into her life to a large enough degree I will give her the letter and ask her to respect my wishes.

Then I will finally be able to sit back and breathe. It is so strange how you know when it is time for the next step. I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not even anxious. My mind and body are tired and want a break. I am ready to let her go. She will have a path the leads back home and it will be up to her to choose it.

I have made my peace with the sitch and I am satisfied with my Plan A. It is time to move on.

Thanks for all the love, support, and advice.

Hey, I just stumbled on this thread...and haven't posted in awhile.....please read my story below.....I've read yours....all typical, even your reaction now, it still comes from anger. Be the rock, respect yourself and grow.

My FWW and I are now going on 10 months into recovery. It is better than ever.....or should I say, our M and R are deeper than ever. It's not a "switch" that turns on...it is YOU being her landing area, she NEEDS that! Snuff the anger and resentment that you feel with the love you have for her, and for yourself. Let HER come to you...there is a very good chance that will happen...just be strong, and keep working on yourself....it's the ONLY thing YOU can control.

MWIL,

Thanks Man,

What a story. I skipped through, but saw the process full circle. Not a bad time for me to see a success story, especially one that got as bad as mine. My WW has to have hit rock bottom now so there's only one way for her to go. I just hope she comes around. There was a lot of love between us for most of the M so I know it can be restored. Thanks for the dose of hope!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

OK

wonderful comments !

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WW was released and she stopped by with MIL yesterday afternoon. I let her have DS for the weekend since MIL is in town. We seem to be OK with the supervised visitation and she's going to NH next week for a week and a half so I really won't have to worry about it for a while. We didn't talk much. Really we didn't talk at all. About the only thing she said to me was that she had planned it so she didn't have DS and they were doing some state testing and she wanted to wait until that was over to do it. I really didn't say anything back. I was thinking plenty but pretty much kept my mouth shut. She still seems pretty messed up to me. All I saw in her was a broken down shell of a human being. There's no life in her yet. She wouldn't even look at me. I don't think she's making eye contact with anybody right now. I guess I've just never seen anybody in that condition before.

So here I am, waiting some more, trying to keep myself distracted, continuing to improve myself, and praying for an end to this mess.

Oh, I just realized I ate meat this morning. I'm out of Cherios at work and I picked up a sausage burrito at McDonald's. That's alright. I've done better this Lent than most. Only the third time I forgot. Only one more Fri to go and it'll be BBQ pit in the drive way on Friday's again. Ya'll better warn all the deer sausage! I'm a coming for ya real soon!

Have a good day

BC

Good job with your WW. She has a long journey in front of her, all of her own making. It truly is a "tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive." The best thing you can do is pray for her to get the right kind of help to extract herself from this awful mess. She's going to need a lot of help.


I've never had deer sausage, but I've had moose hotdogs (friends from Alaska make them). As my mom says "They're just like hotdogs, only different." My mom is a carbon copy of Rose, from the Golden Girls so that statement makes sense to her.

Hope you have a great day.

Thanks John,

I'll eat moosedogs. Rose is my favorite, so send your mom my love.

Have a good weekend

The neighborhood had an intervention with me Fri night. When WW was at home Thu afternoon she had gone talk to one of my neighbors and pretty much left her completely horrified. She didn't know what to do with the info and couldn't sleep that night, so the next day she confided in another neighbor and they decided I needed to know.

WW told the neighbor that she had been conditioning DS to start calling OM daddy. OM would roll around on the floor with DS and put him to bed and read him bedtime stories. They would go out as a family and WW thought once she could convince DS that OM was his daddy then I would no longer exist.

Then she told her that after experiencing the love, the lust, the passion, and for once experiencing what real true love was that she could never go back to THAT and pointed at me.

She told her that we were no longer M so it was OK for her to do whatever she wanted. So I guess she never intended to get a D since she wasn't M anymore?

She said that she had almost succeded when OM suddenly found his conscience and dumped her. He told her he asked his ex-GF to marry him. Who knows if that is true?

So now she feels entitled to kill herself. Told the neighbor that she was going to see her father in NH to let him know that it wasn't his falt and when she returned she would finish the job, but wouldn't call anybody.

She was showing off the scars on her arm where she had been practicing. She couldn't understand why I had gone to the hospital because I wasn't her H, OM was. She feels that she has raised DS to a point where he will be just fine without her. She's not even concerned about him, but will fight for full custody of him just so I can't have him.

That's about all I can remember.

Does anybody agree that this is not FOG talk, but the rantings of someone who has crossed a line mentally?

Next week I will try to get an emergency session with SH, then I will see my attorney and begin D proceedings so I can get custody. Then once she is gone to NH I will try to get MIL to listen to me or talk to neighbor directly for one last attempt at getting WW help. MIL will be with WW until she leaves for NH. I will try to get her to come back here after she drops off WW. They can't know anything until WW is gone. When WW returns DS will be back at my parents for his safety.

The neighborhood no longer wants her around, especially near their children. She's burned every bridge she has.

Is anything she said true? Doesn't matter, the fact that she said it proves her mental state and she is dangerous to DS and herself. It's going to take years for her to recover from this if she doesn't succeed with suicide. If what she did with OM is true I can never forgive her for trying to make me disapear. I don't care what state of mind she was in when she did it.

I want her to get help. I want her to get better and have some semblance of being a decent mother. I no longer want her for a wife. This is too much and I have reached my limit.

I will gladly hear any thoughts on the subject, but keep in mind my mind is made up. I've slept on this and doubt seriously that I could change my mind at this point. She is way to sick to be a wife and mother anytime soon. Me and DS need to be safe, peaceful, and happy.

Oh and to DS's credit. He NEVER called OM daddy. At 3 years old he knows better. I AM HIS DADDY!!

Cajun

Too wierd and situation was / is dangerous for DS and you. Good lord - what would have happened if she thought of doing you in or DS in to continue her fantasy?

You would be crazy to sleep in the same house as the WW. Not sure how I would handle the OM after that crap. you are better man than me.

I agree - she will need medical care for a long time and has crossed a line. you have proven who is the good and sane parent. Protect yourself asap with atty.

Take care.