My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. In early December she told me that she did not think she loved me anymore and did not know if she could fall back in love with me again. This hurt badly, but I thought about things and decided to try harder than ever. I started going to anger management for my anger Issues cause by post tramatic stress disorder and we talked. She admitted to having an affair with another woman that had happened a six months earlier. I told her that I forgave her and we started working from there.

The first weekend after she told me we went out on Friday and everything was great. We went to my office Christmas party the next night and had a good time there, before going to a cd release part for our friend's band. While she was dancing I got jealous because some drunk kept trying to put his arm on her and I made a scene, but did not fight anyone.

Just a week ago she admitted that she kissed another man one night not long after we married. I got mad for a minute and then said that it was ok and that I forgave her.

The next day she told me she wanted me to leave and that she wanted a divorce, because she did not feel like it was fair to me that she had had feelings for someone else. I packed up and drove to my parents house three hours away and took time off my job. Then she found out that I had talked to another girl in the past and that I even had her come visit me out at the hunting cabin one night during hunting season.

I told her that I talked to this girl for a few weeks and that I met her on the internet. We met for drinks on a friday and she came to the cabin on Saturday night. My friend was there and knows what happened. We spent a few hours watching a movie and when she left we shared a gradma kiss when we said goodbye. We had talked about my wife and her boyfriend most of the night. She did not even know that I was married until she met me at the bar. A few days later she told me she was going to tell Frank that she loved him and wated to be with him forever. I told her that was great because I was not willing to give up my wife for her or anyone else. And we haven't talked since untill I told my wife everything and she wanted to talk to the girl. I found her phone number and gave it to her. She called her and tried to catch us in a lie and play us against each other. She only found out what I said was the truth.

Now the first day she was mad and hated me and never wanted to see me again. I sent her and email letter telling her about how much she meant to me and that I loved her and missed her and how much I want to make this work between us.

The next morning we talked and I told her how concerned I was for her health and how much I wished I could be there to hold her at night and see her face. We cried and talked about some stuff together.

Last night she called me drunk and wanted to talk, telling me how depressed she was and that nobody would ever love her. I told her that she knew I loved her and that i miss her so much and how much I want to fix our marraige.

This morning we talked again and she told me again how she keeps getting sick all the time and that I should not worry about her anymore, that it is none of my concern.

I am trying to push taking space and time and taking counseling together. She just said that I had a whole nother life and courted this girl. But I told her that because of talking to that girl I realized i wanted to be with my wife forever.

I know she feels hurt and betrayed, but it is nothing that she hasn't done and kept from me. I s it wrong for me to want to try and fix our marriage. I'm not one to give up on things. I even want to give her space and time and told her that anything that she does while we are apart, that I understand and will love her no matter what happens and will forgive her without hessitation.

What should I do, I really need some help trying to decide what might be right and what might be wrong.


PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE?????

Hi brianmichael,

I wanted tell you this first and then give you some advice. You should post on the Infidelity >> General Questions II you will get lots more help. It has much more traffic.

Now I want to tell you I have only been here for a little while and while that being the case I have to say doing these few things have really gotten my husband and I on the right track.

First of all I printed out the EN Q'Aire for the both of us and the LB Q'aire and they have helped us figure out how we were both contributing to the problems we were having.

Since then we have been working hard at trying to meet each others EN and no LBing and it is great. I feel like I got my husband back and I know he feels the same way because I haven't seen him smile as much as he has been lately. He even brought our daughters and I some roses last night and took the girls to the father daughter dance. I thought it was the sweetest thing. I now know what I was willing to walk away from and I no longer want to leave but keep working to make our family a happy healthy enviornment for all. I hope this helps. If you need help with the acronyms check the Just Found Out... section. I hope this helps. Goodluck

MB

Try posting on Emotional Needs. More people go to that board.