So, I had been suspecting an A for a little while now and Plan A’ing while I researched. Got it nailed down for myself on Jan24. Confronted WW Feb2, she made one half hearted denial that day and then after I told her it wasn't worth lying, I knew that the affair existed unequivocally and asked what she was going to do now that it was in the open, she said that she would choose her family over the affair and agreed to NC right away.

So I did my best Plan A behavior, we talked and had a pretty good weekend. This past week, WW made a hand written NC letter (plagiarized the one in SAA, but that means she is reading it), told me OMW’s name and state of residence so I could notify OMW. Had an appt with Steve Harley and told me the “whole” story of the affair knowing that I would provide info to OMW as well. WW is willing to talk about repairing M, make plans on how to do so, not getting defensive when I told her she’d need to show me doctor’s report clearing her of STD’s before I would be physically intimate with her. I am pretty certain that this is all genuine and WW has been totally depressed (withdrawal from affair?) all week. I can actually see the physical toll that the withdrawal is having (or it could be a really bad cold.)

So all in all, I should be pleased right? This is proceeding as well as a BS could hope, true? What more could I ask in 1 week’s time? I don’t know, but my resolve to reconcile is as weak as it has ever been. The Taker is growing stronger by the minute and is trying to keep me up all night so I will be cranky. So how can I get back on track? How do I recreate the will and character to continue not LB and remain emotionally available to WW? I had to get out of bed because I could not take any more of her cuddling up to me in her sleep. All of the sudden, within the past couple days, I inwardly cringe at the thought of hugging, kissing or cuddling WW.

Is this backsliding on my part normal?

This is totally normal.

Thanks for the reply BigK. Any recommendations on specific actions I can take. I am afraid that if I do nothing, that I will blow up any chance of recovery.

This might help. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5062_qa.html Even the Harleys struggle to provide an answer though.

GameFce, this is all part of a pretty normal recovery. You are alot like me in that you felt revulsion at your WS. It does go away, though, after she works hard to rebuild your love bank.

You are in for a god 12-18 months of hard recovery yourself, so just prepare yourself. Once the shock wears off you will feel anger resentment so just be prepared. When it comes up, just talk it out with her without lovebusting. For many, the roughest period in recovery was right around 8 months. That seems to be the time when the shock and relief wears off and the anger comes out. But, it also means you are nearing the end. Just come here and unload on us when you feel overwhelmed with anger.

ML,
Thanks for the tangible suggestion. I feel like I can manage negative behaviors pretty well in general but when I get to the low points I need to redirect my energy into another activity. I am thinking that firing off some venting threads may help.