can i ask you a question?? how wide of a range of emotions do you experience??

i believe different people have differing ranges of emotions.

mine is too wide and i work on trying to reign them in. and that includes when an emotion is too much on the positive side too.

i've been learing to try to be more even keel.

my husband on the other hand started out narrow and just kept getting more and more narrow. another thing he himself has said.

too narrow seems a shame - you can miss out on some good positive feelings that way!!

but i now see how too wide of a range is not good either.

what do you mean by the typical male needs? Are you referrign to EN's?
my top EN's are the stereo-typical male too..... Admiration, SF...yet, i always come off as a woman....it's the emotion, i guess.
i envy you cool,logical gals.

ha, me cool, logical??

well i guess that depends on where i am at the moment.

when at work, TOTALLY, cool and logical, and extremely self-confident. also funny (or at least i try). i find humor always helps resolve problems, gets people to keep calm, don't get defensive or territorial and just work together to find a solution.

now, at home, completely different me. which is something else that frustrates me to no end. at home, zero self-confidence, emotional wreck.

unless there is something that needs accomplishing, then i'm back to the work mode.

i'm really good at getting things done.

i'm terrible at just being...

and yes, i was referring to typical ENs as stated in HNHNs.

I've been following this thread with interest and I'm thinking about how I want to add to it but for now I'm just staggered by this quote because it worries me.



Noodle, I have always had the utmost respect for you but I find that statement amazing.

Feelings of joy, delight, happiness, wonder, awe for the natural world's beauty, pride in and love for your children, I could go on...I just can't see how you could or would want to trivialise those feelings.

It's my "out there" feelings, both positive and negative, that make me creative and imaginative, both things that are such an important part of my personality and make me "me".

How can one empathize without understanding feelings, without feeling themselves?

Inquiring minds want to know...


Oh, and Pep, in regards to the initial question about marriage vows, I had a civil ceremony, not much about cherish, but they did say the thing about "do you take this woman to have and to hold in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live"--I distinctly remember an 'I do' in there, and I responded in kind.

[color:"green"] I just finished doing an I&D on a pus-filled butt cyst (hi ARKIE) ... now I am squeezing mayo onto my sammich ... good thing I can compartmentalize MY feelings !!!!!- <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />[/color]

Gawd....did ya haf to?

Blekkkkkkkkkk!

Better you than me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

That is AWESOME, Pep. I'm one of those crazy people that could eat while talking about the grossest things. For some reason, I always bring up gross things at lunch, and EVERYBODY joins it. It's like a contest to gross eachother out.

MMMMM, pus-filled butt cysts...

This convo would make my H run from the room with his fingers in his ears "la la la I can't HEAR you" ... so I never do this at home ... he's missing out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Wellllllllll, I'm a glutton for punishment, so...

What else ya got?

Actually, I like gross stuff, but I like pretending i don't. Both are fun.

What a Wimp!

I've got something GROSS and FUNNY!!! <to me> I was reading on another board because of this fast that I am currently attempting to do...It's called The Master Cleanse...rids your body of toxins...especially those in the colon...They have a word there for diarrhea...BUTT PEE!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Where is that stinkin' MelodyLane? She would threaten to hawg tie and pistol whip me if she read this! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

BUTT-PEE is currently my DS's existence. Poor little guy.

I'm with Mr Pep. llllllaaaaaaalaaaaaaaalllaaaaaaaaa

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

(Blech)

[color:"green"] I think this is awesome SL ... so I brought it over here to add to the (non-gross) discussion [/color]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I finally, really, truly quit smoking (I had ATTEMPTED to before), I didn't give myself any excuses. I CHOSE to do it. I continue to CHOOSE to do it every day. I don't consider quitting the last battle, I consider the battle daily. It's a CHOICE everyday. I hope, for myself and my family, that I can continue the fight. It has gotten oodles easier over the years, and I AVOID the things that would make it easy for me to choose to cave.

I guess that's what people talk about here, about A's and when they FINALLY chose to end them and take EXTRAORDINARY PRECAUTIONS to avoid them. That's when you are a recovering addict, when you know that you ARE VULNERABLE, every day, every hour.

Rin, it's not will-power, it's just an ongoing choice, minute to minute. Most days are easy peasy, but there are those temptations.

Think about what lures you into drinking/smoking/drugging. I've found that some of the people that I surround myself with will actually push the drug of choice on me, and say, 'hey, you're having a cocktail, what's the harm in a smoke to go along', or they will elude to it being okay, by stating that THEY can just have one while at happy hour, but they don't do it all of the time. ADDICTS of any kind will feed on the weaker ones, so that they have someone to do it with, to justify their reasons. 'Well, WE were hanging out at the club, and we both like cocaine, so I thought, what the heck, let's do a line together, expereince the fun together, and that'll be it'. I've heard it and seen it too many times to count.

I don't make choices based on a moment. I wait, and I put real thought into things. Now, if I have to make a spur of the moment decision, I do, but I use what I have experienced to make that decision. If someone, who doesn't know that I can't have just one, offers me a smoke, I remember the chunks of stuff I used to hack up daily, and the constant clearing of my throat during the day that made me sound like an old lady. Then I say, 'No thank you'.

My WH started smoking during our intial false recovery, not much, mostly when having a drink, and I loathed it. I became a smoking GESTAPO, and would hassle him about his choice whenever I got a chance. NOW, I tell him that I don't want it around my son or myself. I can choose to sit with him and talk, but he actually asks if his smoking will bother me. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no, my choice...BUT a BOUNDARY for me in regards to my SON, NO SMOKING!

above written by Silentlucidity

[color:"red"] STOP right there !!!!

this is probably NOT a good idea for you to do this ... based on what you've told me about your medical issues ... just what you need, an electrolyte imbalance ... I'M telling Mel <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

OMG - pep!!!! yuck.

do i really want to read the rest of the posts now???

Thanks Pep,

I have learned so much about myself, and since the topic of BOUNDARIES came up last week, I have examined that, too.

The topic is almost completely NON-GROSS except for the chunks of stuff I cougued up, it was gewy, and light brown and would stick to anything it landed on, heh heh heh

ewwwwwwwww,

I'm definitaly out of here now!!!!

have a good evening all.