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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Yes, my H remains ashamed, hurt and embarrassed about having had an affair and having caused such hardship on his family....
Why wouldn't he have these feelings?
He almost destroyed himself..and says he stood at the GATES OF ******...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
I understand Mimi, I guess it's the reality that those feelings can remain years later into recovery for a FWS.
Lady
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
He's mostly HAPPY. It only happens when there are triggers...and there's lots of stuff about ADULTERY out there everywhere....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834 |
Mimi:
I agree with your Husband.
Although we are doing very well in recovery, there are times when everything pauses for a moment because of what I did.
Not as often as before. But weekly.
Stolen time can NEVER be replaced.
I sent her red roses today, just to say I Love You.
She deserved that for the first 15 years of our relationship/marriage as well.
LG
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
My H talks about the A like it happened to someone else ... it seems THAT removed from who he is today ... 11 years recovery PLUS his 12-step program ... he really is a new man ... he thinks he's GREAT !!! (well, he is GREAT) I don't think he feels guilt at all any more ... regret maybe, but the guilt has been replaced with ... wisdom! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Pep
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 132
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 132 |
Ok, this is me being new & stupid again...
11 YEARS of recovery? Really? I get more and more sorry every time I read a post.
~bossy
~lostsheep
Me, FWW -34
Him, BH - 36
DD6
Dday#1 - 3/04
NC broken 4/04, A resumed 3/05
Dday#2 - 7/05
Dday#3 - 3/06
NC 2/5/07
H moved out 4/06, asked me to file for DV 11/06
DV final 3/7/07
...trying to be H's friend again...and finding my way
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
11 years recovery PLUS his 12-step program ... he really is a new man ... he thinks he's GREAT !!! (well, he is GREAT)
I don't think he feels guilt at all any more ... regret maybe, but the guilt has been replaced with ... wisdom Thats great Pep, wish I could say the same for my husband. He's makin' history with his shame. He fell again last month. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
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