Your divorce is to be final in weeks. Your H has moved on and found another woman in his life... and YOU are so sure that she is because he can't be alone. Perhaps the woman is caring and kind and makes him feel more of a man. And afterall, after being with you and based on the things you say about his maniliness, I would imagine that would be important to him right now.
I would say that again, based solely on your attitude and not the fact that you had an affair that your H would be a fool to let you weasal your way back into his life. You seem to want what you can't have and frankly dear, it is not his problem that you got dumped! You got dumped and all of a sudden you are interested in maybe being a wife again. As Harley says in his literature here, imagine how hurt he would be that you want him back only because your boy toy dumped you. Here's a question for you... where would you be right now if you weren't dumped... would you be looking to work on your marriage or still seeking to destroy another one? Your husband has been gone for a year... and NOW that you were dumped you want him back!!!!!!!!!! Entitled, selfish and downright immature. Your H would be so much better off NEVER taking you back. And frankly you would show yourself to be a better person by letting him go. To do otherwise is just your way of harming him again.
And I certainly hope that you plan on exposing this affair to your OM wife... you know the woman that you hurt... but something tells me you won't do that because that would ruin your little fantasy about maybe getting back together with him.

after i found out about my H's affair, i threw him out of the house

when he wanted to come home, i asked him "why?"

he said "i made a mistake. I didn't realize how much i love you."

and i asked him to "tell me what he loved about me"

and everything he said started off with......"WE"

i told him that i wanted to know what he loved about ME not about us as a couple

and you know what? to this day, the wonderful things that he said still amaze me....i had no idea he even noticed some of the things that he said he loved about me

silly things, even kinda stupid things

but things that made ME special enough for him to love ME

you've talked alot about what you don't like about your H

can you think of some things that you LOVE about your H?

That's the best place to start IMO. It's time for some self-reflection -