Hopeandpray

Thanks for the Info.

I have been documenting everything. The time I pick the kids from daycare, things the kids and I do (Dance, Park, CCD, baths, brushing teeth, bed time, dinner, etc. (I do everything) ), time WW get home, etc. Should I be documenting anything else?

I also have cell phone records and some email stuff but WW gives me the “we are friends & just talking about work”. Not much on email because the OW does not have a computer.

I will have to look into the PI, I don’t know if I can afford it.

I would like to go to her work and talk to her boss and inform her that the relationship between WW and OW has become inappropriate. Can they make sure they do not work together and the OW stays away from WW. Can I do this with out evidence of inappropriate behavior? Ask them to review cell phone record so they can see what I see? Not sure what to do?


Thanks,

2m?h

Go look for the "Spying 101" thread for ideas on how to get that info you're looking for. Have a friend that your wife might not recognize follow her if possible. Keyloggers are great for tracking things done on the computer...voice activated recorders placed in her car or attached to your home phone...etc...

You didn't explain what the 'lie' was that you caught your wife in was...that might give some insight on what's going on here.

Hopeandpray

I have suggested WW see someone or we see someone about the issues going on with her and us. WW refuses to even consider seeking counseling. She always tells me she will work them out on her own or they will work them self’s out.

Thanks for all the help,


2m?h

Owl

I have been on the “spying 101” I have a few things in place. I am looking into the voice recorder in the car. I just need to find time to do some research on one and get her car for a few hours.

“The Lie”

WW called home @ 6, said she was on her way into her site and her cell phone battery was low and she would call me back in a bit from the site. I did not hear from her, @ 7:30 I call the site, I was told she left 30 minutes ago. I did not call her cell phone. I took the kids and we went for a frosty and I checked the place where she would go for a drink. No WW. I did not call her cell, because she has been getting mad when I call or text. WW calls @ 9:20 and says she is on her way home and will be home in 15 minutes. I say nothing when she gets home about me calling the site. I was putting DS3 to bed and she comes up to give him a kiss good night. I ask how work was, she says well. Talks about consumers mom coming to pick him up at the site to take him out, I ask what time did they go out and did she get to talk to the mother (I have met both before). She says 8 and just waved to her in the drive way from the house. I did not say a word even know I knew she was not at the site and this was not the truth. On Friday she calls and says I heard you called the site looking for me last night. I said yes, you said your battery was almost dead. She tells me she is mad because I was checking up on her. Then she says I told you I was going to another site to help out, I told her she did not. She tells me well that’s where she was. Fast forward to Friday night. She goes off on me for checking up on her and how she can’t live in a relationship where I don’t thrust her. I told her how am I to trust when she continues to lie. Well it turned in to her going off on me. I remained calm and told her I just want her to be honest with me about everything. This was in front of the kid and I calmly told her this was not the time to discuss this with the kids around. She told me we would have no further discussion on this and has spoke to me very little the past 3 days. From her cell phone I know OW called @ 6:55 (4min) pm and them they talked again @ 9:00 pm (20 min). I intercepted an email where she told another friend she went over and helped her after she called and asked for her help with something.

Thanks,

2m?H

So, you've got PROOF that your wife is lying to you directly about spending time with OW. You've got PROOF that your wife has posted on an internet site asking how she could go about exploring a lesbian relationship with her.

That sounds like sufficient proof to expose to her family, your family, and friends at least.

Getting the recorder in place sounds like something you need to do ASAP...as in TODAY. I'd bet that would give you sufficient information to expose to work in a very short order...especially if you've got it in place when you expose. Your wife will be FURIOUS...and likely talk with OW a lot about it...potentially while driving too and from work.

On her cell phone records...does it look like she does much talking/texting with her during her drives?

Owl

Thanks for the input.

I will do the recorder ASAP! DD6 has dance tonight and CCD tomorrow so I will make sure I do something by the end of the week with the recorder. Wife asked if I was going to put GPS on her car so I knew where she was all the time, I didn’t answer.

Most of the calls to OW are in the car, from what I can tell.

When I expose I need it to be to all at once. I don’t want to go to friends and family then to work at a later date. When I do this I want to expose and not have to do it again. (Does that happen?)

Thanks,

2m?H

When exposing my WW at work, what is the best way to do this, what proof should I provide, if any? Should I tell them look at the cell phone records & show them mine? (OW has company phone). Should this be done with a phone call, email, letter or a face to face sit down with WW and OW boss? What should I say? These are some of the things that have been going through my head.

Thanks for the help.

2m?h

Bump for 2m?h

Hi all,

I am preparing to call WW and OW boss and informing her that my family is being harmed by OW and this is borderline sexual harassment with OW being in a superior role over WW. OW is interfering with the happiness of my marriage to WW, me and our children and it needs to stop. (Does this sound ok?)

Should I:

Give examples of OW calling and asking WW help her at another sites late in the evening (When WW should be home with family) and asking WW to go out drinking and to check cell phone records of OW and WW communications over the last 3 months.

I will ask that WW and OW have NO further communication or contact inside the Co. (VERY BIG Co. and could be done). I know WW has fallen for OW and is in an EA.

Fightingback gave a good example in Devastated01 thread. How this relationship most likely started and where it could lead.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...=0&fpart=15

Where this could lead scares me to death!!

Now the problem is WW told me the boss is a Lesbian and a friend of OW, but with that said, I believe she would do what is RIGHT. But will she do what is right if anything?

Should I send a letter to OW parents about all this? I don’t know that they know she is a Lesbian?

My Plan A to this point has been ok. I have LB some over the past few weeks out of frustration. I was wondering if I should Plan A with NO LB for a few more weeks before Exposing at work? Trying to gather more information for Exposure?

Thanks,

2m?h