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My H is not doing too well. overwhelmed with guilt, in despair. he just thinks there is no hope for him to ever be happy again.
should i get him to post here? or would that be a bad thing?
are there any other forums like this that could help him?
thanks
FO
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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He can post here. But we always suggest the two of you stay on your own separate threads.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,525
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Does he know about the site?
It is not recommended that you show this to him.
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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If he has contact with OW - ANY contact I would not bring him here
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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he does know i post here. are there any similar sites i can direct him to?
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
********** and ********** The first one is very similar to MB. The second one doesn't give so many ideas of how to fix things.
I don't see any reason for him not to post here. The only problem is that he will be able to see any advice that you get.
He needs to have no contact with OW. What's up with that?
Last edited by believer; 02/15/07 12:08 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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He needs to have no contact with OW. What's up with that? he's in public accounting. he can't quit in the middle of tax season. well, he could, but any future employer would think that looked VERY bad, and i also found out from OWH that OW will probably be moving to another state after tax season is over and their D is final.
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Oh, yeah, I forgot. So what is bothering him the most?
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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Oh, yeah, I forgot. So what is bothering him the most? the guilt and shame over what he has done. and he says he hates putting me through this, when it may or may not be worth it in the end. he says it feels so hopeless. he's numb. he says he knows he loves me, but isn't interested in kissing, cuddling or sex. he can't look me in the eyes. i think he may be depressed, but he doesn't think so. also he's working 55 to 60 hours a week, which further compounds everything. plus the OW is there.
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Posts: 672
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FO,
What he is going through is the normal process, but like I've said before, it's going to be much longer and drawn out while he still has contact with OW. Assuming there has not been a resumption of the A...his feelings are a normal process and IMO is a good sign that he is processing what he has done. Some FWS's never feel (or appear to feel) very much shame or guilt, and from what I've read here, that seems to stall recovery big time.
Oh he's depressed...
Me, 43, 2 online EA's 2006
DH, 45, 2DDs, 16 & 9
Married 23 years.
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Well with ongoing contact the affair IS ongoing and I'm not surprised he is depressed.
In what way is *********** like MB Believer?
Last edited by Justuss; 02/15/07 12:00 AM.
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