I'm in the same with boat lostsheep. Guess what I cancelled the divorce 3 years ago with my H but still with my OM, sad right.

Things are getting very messy for me as my OM is emotionally not sure to be with me or not as you know his family is questioning on my divorce. And he now and then support his family instead of me. The reason I’m going back 1st I cant hurt my husband and be happy. 2)My daughter is an a mess of traveling every fortnightly 3)OM's family can t get along with me 4)I don’t trust my OM can take care of my daughter very well like his as his family will be involved I cant bare to see her hurt if I get another child from my OM. and bla bla

And then my husband wanted to comeback I was afraid that I will not be happy with him because I will be thinking of my OM and I notice he gets angry when man look at ne or I do anything wrong in my life and sometime I think he cant believe what I have done and gets angry, I was afraid that I will not able to cope the recovery alone as I know my husband needs me to be a perfect wife. He wouldn't want me to a failure

Lately my husband says that he going out with somebody than he declined when I brought it up during a fight about him like he cared for othe other lady child more than ours(she is divorced). Now he says he is not and still not coming back to me. I am still with my OM a lot of problem and people keep telling I am selfish, My OM just cant get it that he keeps comparing himself with other married man. I am just so sick and tired but I know he have cared for me too.

What must I do and please gve me a good advice I hope I can make the right thing not for me but for my beloved daughter. I love her very much but my H just maybe listening to his family and friends I feel he can take the shame that I have done as everybody knows I left him for another, What you all think?????

Why are you here?

What should you do?

A. Get more OM’s as this has been working so well for you.

B. Act like a grown woman, read all the marriage builders information at the front of the website (that is free even) and stop living this insane life of adultery by doing the things that you KNOW are good. Find value in yourself and stop treating yourself like a worthless person.

C. Continue to act selfishly that way your spouse will definitely want you back. Not.

D. Get in the bed that you’ve made; after all you’ve earned it.


Hint, best answer:
Starts with a B.

loraineasha,

You are going to have to completely ditch the OM.

There is no way around that. Until then nothing good will happen in your life.

That means today you do it and you make never contacting him again an act of perpetuity.

That is the ONLY first step that will fit into the MB plan; as there can be no healthy anything in yourself or your marriage until you stop the adultery.

Your poor daughter will be far better off with a whole family that knows and shows love at it’s best.

thanks plank

Get rid of the OM, and never have contact or see him again. Only then can you give your daughter what she deserves, a chance at a normal family.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE WITH A MAN (ANY MAN) TO BE HAPPY. If you can't be happy alone first you are not going to be happy with anyone for any significant period of time.

Secondly, happy is a derivative of happenings...Guess what? Not all happenings are going to be good or make you "feel" good. That is why there is reason, logic, thinking, principles, values, beliefs, moral truths and absolutes.

Grow up and be the mother, mate, person God intended for you to be instead of the a needy (needing a man, gotta have someone validate that I am worthy), selfish, lacking purpose, non directed, floundering path you have chosen for yourself.

You can do it!! Doing the right thing or changing directions always starts with ONE, FIRST move by the person in charge, YOU! Step 1 - Value yourself, don't look to others Step 2 - stop being an adulteress (you will feel really good about this at some point) Step 3 - Get some Individual counseling....that's a good start.

I'm confused as to why you think your situation is like mine in any way?

I have never been with another man.

My H betrayed to be with someone who seems to be a lot like you.

What I have to say to you is this:

You are a married woman. The other man is married. Therefore, what you are doing is WRONG and HURTFUL to your spouses and your children.

NO ONE WILL BE HAPPY UNTIL YOU END YOUR AFFAIR!!

Never ending story. IT is a feaking horror story.

Let me get this straight. You are married. You have an OM. It seems like your H is dating. You have kids. You don't know what to do.

Ok step back for one blazing second here. If you were looking into this situation from the outside what would YOU suggest?

1. STOP seeing OM.
2. H stops seeing OW.
3. Get counseling becuase obviously you and your H need the help here.
4. Decide if you want to stay married.
5. Move forward with a decesion.

If it is to stay with your H move forward. If it is D move forward.

This is not fair to your kids!!!!! Straighten up and fly right.

Please do not come here though and ask for pity or help because the OM's feelings are hurt that is an insult to eveyone here. To be honest I could care less about any OP.