I will try to keep this short. Married over 21 years, lots of issues. I was a refuser the majority of my marriage. This past Sept I got it finally and fell in love with spouse all over again and things have been pretty good, all around we are both happier. Right now I feel exhausted, he hurt my feelings in a discussion twice this week and I now feel like anything I say will be wrong. If I ask to many questions, I am nosey, not enough, I am disinterested. I talked about my friend a few times and her new boyfriend and for the life of me I don't know why it seemed to upset him. Right now we aren't speaking. I feel nuts sometimes. I have some major insecurity issues, alot of them brought on by his EA 4-5 years ago. He finally talked about if a few months ago, limited discussion, he didn't love her, it was just counselling to him, he was going to leave me but not for her. Its in the past, he didn't do anything wrong. I thought I could get passed it but it seems to haunt me terribly, I want to get it out of my system but don't feel I can ask any questions, will make him made. Lately I seem to question him alot about who his calling, at first he was flattered, now I stopped cause if just makes him mad I can't trust him. Other than his EA I don't think I have real reason not to. He is an excellent man, good husband, father. He prayed for years and stuck by me even though I wasn't a great wife. I was distant, resentful, cold. I want things to be good again. I don't want to fight anymore with him, I feel things are falling apart again. I also feel like I am doing all the work, is that my punishment for the years I refused him? I am so confused. When I try to explain my feelings he looks at me like I am nuts and has no answers. I wrote him trying to get everything out, he read it half heartedly and never really mentioned it. I need some direction, where to start, how to get over something that happened along time ago and should not keep coming back affecting me.